"I Can Still Fix This"

With the world around him disintegrating and the hordes of angry, misled citizens banging on the doors and windows President Bush was heard saying to a close aid, "I am the Commander in Chief! I can fix this, I can fix all of this." Also heard was "I do not need to explain why I say things. — That's the interesting thing about being the President. — Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation."

He then went on to explain that he built this economy on lies, bad business practices, and poor politics, so we should just continue with those 3 pillars of strength. There is no need for fiscal responsibility or accountability "This is an anxious time, but the American people can be confident in our economic future," he said. If we all just dream of rainbows and sunshine it will come true, because "I am the Commander in Chief" and that's what I want.

Please ignore the fact that I promised the economy would be okay after doling out the "economic stimulus checks". Turns out I was simply trying to stave off disaster until _after_ I left office so we could all blame someone else. Also ignore that I said everything would be OK after shelling out money to all sorts of corporations that I have friends in and things got worse. But, please, please, please, in 3 months, forget the fact that I said this: "the U.S. government's financial rescue plan was aggressive and big enough to work"

Also, from that same source:
"Bush says anxiety feeds market frenzy but U.S. rescue plan will work." He then went on to discuss how blood drives sharks crazy. Those loony creatures, just can't get enough after they smell the first drop.

Thanks Bush. As the world crumbles around you I'm sure standing there saying "Don't Panic! We can fix it!" will make a big difference.

Also, it looks like the DOW will drop below 8000 today. Note that this is ~2500 points below where the DOW was before the $700 Billion bailout that Bush "ordered" Congress to approve was passed.