I finished "The Overachievers" by Alexandra Robbins yesterday. I really enjoyed the read. It provided alot of good insight into the education system in the US. I've known for awhile that things were going downhill, but I hadn't encountered anybody as screwed up as the people shadowed in the book. Robbins makes her points by following about 10 kids through a year of their life. Some are Juniors or Seniors in high school, and one is a Freshman in college. As she relates their happenings she discussing an area of the education system that needs to be reformed. She doesn't limit her criticism to just the system though, as that would be quite unfair. She discusses parents, teachers, administrators, the College Board, private counselors, and the students themselves. People that adamantly believe that not getting into Harvard, Yale, or Princeton means their life is over, and sometimes make it true by killing themselves. People who pay $16,000 a year for pre-school tuition. People that hire school consultants the day they know they are pregnant.
I recommend that this book be read by all teachers, administrators, parents, and high school students. I'd even go so far as to say that this would be really good required reading for high school freshman.
I'm really glad I didn't fall into the overachiever traps that are described throughout the book. I don't know when it happened for me, somewhere around grade 7, 8, or 9. I adopted a philosophy that I have followed ever since: I do the amount of work I'm comfortable doing. Yes, I try to do well, and to get things done, but if I've been working on something for an inordinate amount of time and it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere, then I stop. Many that know me might criticize that this isn't how I work at all. I was salutatorian, got a 1520 on the SAT with a perfect math score, I'm at BYU on full scholarship, and also have a multi-year scholarship from home, I received the John Philip Sousa award for concert band, the Coaches award for track, I was President of the National Honor Society at my school, and Treasurer of the Music Honor Society.
I have all the marks of a serious overachiever.
So maybe this will make some people mad, but I was rarely stressed out about any of these things. I did them because I enjoyed them, and I had time to. I never studied for the SAT, I just woke up that morning, grabbed a Bagel sandwich from McDonald's and took the test. I practiced my trombone maybe an hour a week on average outside of school. Track practice lasted about an hour after school. I rarely edited a paper after printing out a first draft. I was rarely up past midnight because I had early morning Seminary at 6 am. I usually got about 7 hours of sleep.
I'm happy with my scholastic life. I usually get more stressed out about relationships than I do about school. I'm lucky. I am apparently quite intelligent and do well without too much effort. So you might say of my philosophy, "easy for you to say". But really, if I hadn't lived that philosophy, I could have pushed myself to exhaustion in high school, I could have been valedictorian (the difference was in the ten-thousandths of a point), I probably could have gotten into MIT or something, and continued to push myself crazy. I didn't.
My feelings on the matter are this: I work at a level I'm comfortable with. I came to a University where I could work at a level I'm comfortable with. When I leave school I will get a job where I can work at a level I'm comfortable with. I can then come home after an 8 hour day and be with my family (hopefully I'll have one....).
The approach true overachievers seem to take is: work really really hard in high school to get into a prestigious college, work really really hard in college to get into a prestigious grad school, work really really hard in grad school to get a prestigious job, work really really hard at prestigious job to make lots of money to show the world how successful you are. Problem is, your prestigious job demands 80 hour weeks, you have no hair left because it all fell out from stress, your family never sees you, assuming you found time to get married and start a family, and you have never known the meaning of 'fun'. The valedictorian of my class was like this. She had a nervous breakdown freshman year, and was the most high-strung girl I've ever had to deal with.
Please live your life at a level you are comfortable with. It will make you happier.
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3 comments:
You're just brilliant, CPM.
I have sons and daughters like you, CPM.
For example, my daughter Cindy had a perfect 4.0 grade point average, and would have been the Valedictorian of her school if her school had such a thing. It is a tough school in a community where most of the students are the sons and daughters of scientists and engineers. She got a perfect 1600 on the SAT. With no preparation. I couldn't begin to tell you all the awards she received in high school. She took all the advanced placement classes she could, and got a 5 in all of them.
With a full tuition scholarship to BYU she sailed through in a tough major that has a lot of overachievers in it. Guys trying to get into medical school. She graduated Summa Cum Laude, and top of her class, I believe. In her words, she just really knows how to do well on tests, not that she is that smart.
Next, she went on to law school. She was accepted to Harvard, but chose to go to another prestigious school in the East. There they gave her a wonderful full scholarship. She just graduated 4th in her class. Doing better than that was not of interest to her.
Her philosophy was like yours. Going to Harvard would have meant going into debt at something like $35,000 a year. Harvard doesn't give good scholarships to white people whose parents earn a decent living. Then she would have been more or less forced to take a high paying job where the firm would have "owned" her, and made her work 80 or more hours a week. She didn't think going into debt was fair to her future husband. She didn't want to spend her whole life trying to prove something and make a lot of money.
Next step, clerk to a Federal Judge, Court of Appeals. And, find that husband.
[sigh] Why can't we all be just like you?
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