The female mind confuses me. Greatly. I like girls. I enjoy spending time with them. I enjoy cuddling with them. But, honestly, they are a complete mystery to me for the most part. Here are a few of the even fewer things I DO know:
1. Girls like to be told they're pretty.
- Exception: I had a relationship where this was apparently the wrong answer to a question. I never did fully understand why, except she was crazy I guess.
2. Girls like flowers, especially when provided for no particular reason.
- I do know of one girl that hates surprises (I'm looking at you Lavish), and I am unsure how a surprise-hater would react to spontaneous flowers.
3. Girls like to feel safe. Often times, holding them is an effective way to achieve this phenomenon.
- Don't hold a girl unless she is comfortable with you doing so, else you may end up in some very serious physical pain. (Not from personal experience, just hypothesizing.)
4. Girls want you to talk to them, very often times about anything at all. Even if you think they will not be interested in the subject whatsoever (They might not be interested, but that isn't the point).
- I struggle with this one, but am consciously trying to be better at it. I tend to be comfortable with silence after I've gotten to know someone to a certain point. But I have been learning that this doesn't change the truth of point 4, you still have to talk about whatever. Probably for the same reason that I prefer to just listen to them talk. I like listening to their voice, so perhaps it has something to do with them just liking to hear our voice.
5. Be handy. It seems that being helpful, and being competent in various tasks are found to be attractive. Not on an I-want-you-now level, but a more subtle level that doesn't always kick in immediately. If you can fix a printer, hang a shelf, repair a toilet, change a tire, or do something similarly helpful and handyman-ish I think girls find that attractive. It has an effect and leaves an impression, but you may not see the results immediately.
I think those are pretty safe observations for the most part. Perhaps some female readers can make any clarifications or additions that are needed. I don't claim to be an expert, in fact if you go back to the top of the post you will see that I claim just the opposite, so please don't berate, instead offer corrections.
One final comment. Personally, the jury is still out on the "nice guy" issue. All of these points can throw you dangerously into the "nice guy" category. Girls will tell you that nice guys don't finish last. But a lot of my experience in life has shown that actions and words don't agree on this subject very often. I have yet to find a way to overcome this difficulty. Suggestions on the matter are welcome.
#411, in which the weary world rejoices
7 years ago
4 comments:
dearest cpm- i have silently been following your goings-on through the board, and most recently through your blog. I really liked this post and will attest that as a girl all of your 5 points are right on the nose. I am sorry that you feel that nice guys finish last. If it makes you feel any better, I feel that nice girls finish last as well. However, I do know that by waiting patiently everything will work out, and maybe being a nice person will end up being a good thing after all. Good luck.
I second that (silently reading your blog, your top 5 points, and that nice guys/girls finish last). I just wanted to say that.
Re: The exception on #1
"Women wish to be loved without a why or a wherefore; not because they are pretty, or good, or well-bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves." -- Amiel
You forgot to mention what the question was that it was the wrong answer to.
You're right, we women do like to be told that we're pretty. We like to know that you notice and that you appreciate it. However, we also want to be valued for more than our looks. We want to know that you took the time to get to know who we are as people, and can love us for more than just our exteriors.
If the question was not, "What do you think about the way I look?" then maybe you could have added more to your answer. Just a thought. I wasn't there, so I can't know for sure.
I wish you luck with your future observations of us.
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