Nurturer

I've come to realize over the last week or so that I am a nurturer. I really like doing nice things for people. I like to take care of my friends when they aren't feeling well. I like to surprise people with thoughtful things. I really like bringing flowers to a girl spontaneously and watching her smile, giggle, and get all giddy. I like putting a blanket over someone when they've fallen asleep and the room gets cold. I like making people hot chocolate on cool autumn evenings and cold winter days. I like to cook for people I care about. I like being a shoulder to cry on. I like being there when a friend just needs to talk to someone. I like giving gifts that show I know the person and thought about what they would like.

I know that doing these things makes me happy, yet I still get hung up in bad cycles in my life. I know I have things I need to fix about my life. Many days I will even be able to see that the best way for me to break those cycles is to do more things for other people and stop focusing on myself. But it is still so difficult at times to remember that.

Autumn always makes me wax nostalgic of days when I had someone to curl up with on cold evenings, sipping hot chocolate and watching the leaves fall off the trees.

Here's a poem I wrote last year about this time:

Autumn

The smell of a campfire
   somewhere in the distance
   drifts along the road.
Leaves rustle in the wind
   discontent with their new home.
Yellow, Orange, Red, Brown
   Against the grey sky.
And although far away,
   I close my eyes, breathe the cool air:
I'm sitting under my old Maple
   And, for a moment, all is well.