Sorry for the absence

Hi all, sorry for the long absence. It's been almost a full month since my last post.

Let's see, what is there to update you all on. The Heartless Siren and I are still getting married, so that's good. Wedding plans have been coming along. We have some test announcements coming from the printing company within the next few days, so we'll be getting those out really soon. Waldorf and Sauron put it together for us, it looks awesome.

My thesis is coming along. The data is getting close to finished, so I'll be working on the actual text of the thesis now. I am happy to say that the results seem to indicate that my work performs better than random guessing. Honestly, that's all I was hoping for. My work is in a very young field doing something that has yet to be done well using a very specific technique which has never before been applied to this field. So, getting better-than-random results is actually quite awesome. Now someone else can pick up my work and improve upon it.

We're still working on finding a place to live when we move in July. I need to call the complexes and see if they know their availability yet. I'd like to get that sorted out sooner rather than later so that we can arrange things with the moving company.

I've spent my nights this past week creating a registry website using the Django web framework built on Python. Let me just say Django/Python allows you to get an incredible amount of work done in very little time. The site looks amazing, is fully XHTML 1.0 Strict and CSS 2.1 compliant, and only needs 2 little CSS hacks to make it work in Internet Explorer.

We were using Ourregistry.com myregistry.com, but they require guests to give them an email address in order to view your registry. And harvesting email addresses from my friends and family is not OK. So, now they don't get our pageviews at all. And, I can easily turn my system into a competing product (it's already 90% there). The moral of the story is: Don't annoy a nerd with silly things when you're a website, they just might make their own to spite you.

Sorry, but since including a link here would give away our identities so blatantly I'll forgo. I would guess that with some clever Googling a smart researcher could probably find my identity and the website. So, I leave that task to the reader.

Engagement Update

Hey all, seems that it has been awhile since I've posted anything here.

The Not-quite-as-heartless-as-previously-supposed Siren and I are currently in California looking for a place to live. I've accepted a job with Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, and will begin in July after we get married. Since I have a Spring term course, this week (between semesters) was really the only chance we'd get to come out and look at places and let TNQAHAPSS see California (she's never been before).

LLNL is providing some nice relocation benefits, including paying for this trip (reimbursed after I start work), unfortunately since we're not married yet only my expenses would be covered. So we drove out rather than flying. They'll pay my mileage for driving here and back, and it really doesn't cost anymore to have a second person in the car. Chloe (my Honda Civic) is holding up well on the trip (though needs the bugs cleaned off the front end). The first tank of gas from Provo to Winnemucca, NV got 39+ mpg, and the second tank, from Winnemucca to Sunnyvale, got 42+ mpg.

We spent Monday looking at the two places that got the best reviews on apartmentratings.com. We got applications from them, filled them out and dropped them off on Tuesday. Neither place knows if they'll actually have any openings in July, but they took the applications, will process them, and put us on the waiting list. When they found out I'd be working for LLNL they were much more eager to accommodate our situation. It would seem that these Managers have understood that if your tenants can pass an FBI background check and are able to obtain a Top Secret level security clearance that they probably won't give you any trouble. So we're hoping that one or the other place will have an opening and let us know toward the end of May.

If neither has any spots, well... it gets trickier. All the other complexes that have reviews do not get great marks from the reviewers. We may end up renting a house or something. Our plan is to rent something for about 6 months, while we search for a house to buy. In those 6 months we'll be able to put together a down payment, research the area, become part of the LLNL credit union, and go through the entire process without getting stressed about needing a place to live quickly. There are quite a few foreclosures in the area which we will be able to pickup for cheap. The area we're looking at is called Mountain House, and has foreclosures listing in the low 200,000's which sold 4 years ago for 600,000+.

Hopefully we'll pick up something for "cheap" now, thing will recover, and in the future when we are re-evaluating our life situation we might be able to sell at a considerable profit if desired.


Oh, the wedding will be June 23. We're getting married in the Boston Temple. YAY!

Getting Married!

This news just in:

Curious Physics Minor and The Heartless Siren to Wed!
Details are sketchy, but this engagement has been confirmed by multiple sources. Here are our exclusive pictures of the ring:

How many interviews does it take to get a job?

Though cousin to the more popular "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Toosie Roll pop?" my question is probably more important.

I just completed my sixth, yes 6th interview with Lawrence Livermore National Labs. I've been told that I can probably expect a job offer, but anything official must come through HR, so I can't take that to mean I will be offered a job.

I think that is actually the last of the interviews though. To summarize them:

1 Preliminary screening interview after the Career Fair in January
3 On-site interviews in Livermore, California last week
1 Position placement phone interview last week after returning to Provo
1 Position placement phone interview today

These last two phone interviews are very good signs that I will be offered a job, but there's still the possibility of it not happening.

So, ladies and gentlemen, it appears that CPM will probably need to decide in the coming weeks if he'd like to live in California and work for LLNL for the next stage of his life.

What do you all think?

Life Update

I realize that I have not been updating this blog very actively. Mainly it's because most of the things that I've been blogging about fit more aptly on my real-identity blog. So it has been getting a lot of updates.

But, I'll fill you in on some things that have been happening. I've been spending time working on the Board. The future of the Board lies in in the Django-Python web framework. If you happen to know it, or have any interest in learning Python/Django let me know, we can also use an extra coder.

As I will be finishing school in the coming months I've been looking for job opportunities. I've been off interviewing at places and sending out applications and resumes. I may be getting some offers in soon and I'll then have to decide what I want to do with the next stage of my life.

I also have the College of Physical and Mathematical Sciences Spring Research Conference coming up, and I need to finish revising the paper I had accepted into the International Joint Conference on Neural Networks. Hand in hand with all of that is collecting data for my Master's thesis work and trying to get something useful to happen with my program. Having realized that some of my data was bad, my hopes have risen for the results of the next batch of processing.

That's the bulk of what's been happening in my life without getting in to too many details.

Me

:-D

That's all I have to say on the subject.

Random Poetry

Here are some random lines I wrote at some point. I found them on a piece of paper that came out of my church stuff, so I must have written them while bored at church at some point. I usually like to keep track of the dates that I write stuff, but I have no idea on this, sometime between September 2007 and April 2008. The second one can certainly use some polish, but I like them both anyways:

Untitled 1:
A cold night
The white dust falls to the ground
Silence encompasses my soul
Here I am, alone


Untitled 2:
It doesn't matter where you are today
It only matters that you're far away
Why did it take so long to meet you?
I am here, but you are elsewhere
and so we talk from afar.
The words I say travel long to touch you
Can you feel my voice in their form?

Why do things like this happen to us?

So that title may sound a little dire, but if anyone recalls in 2006 a bum moved into our apartment for about 40 hours. Now we have situation where we're currently living. Papa Funk and I were roommates at the time of the bum incident, and now we have to deal with this one. Management companies have got to do a better job of screening applicants.

For those not in the know I'll bring you up to speed on the state of our house. Fall/Winter there were 4 of us living here. One got married in March and hasn't been able to sell his contract. The other moved to Japan for the summer and didn't sell his contract. So since the end of April it has just been Papa Funk and I living here, and that has been quite nice.

Last Thursday Papa Funk and I were sitting at home doing whatever. I think he was watching TV I was cleaning the kitchen. It's about 11:00 pm. Someone knocks on the door to say that he's signed a contract and will be moving in and has some stuff to drop off. Ok, that's all well and good. There's a small problem to start with. He has a thick accent (he's Haitian) and some days we can only understand about 20% of what he's saying, so just figuring out the whole "has a contract" thing was kind of tricky. But that's fine, you know, people are allowed to have accents.

His contract didn't technically begin until this past Wednesday, so we told him that over the weekend we'd clear out the room (we'd been using it for storage). So over the next few days he brings over more and more stuff which starts piling up all over, and over the weekend we finally get a chance to pull all of our stuff out of the room and his stuff gets moved in.

Turns out that the reason he's moving in is because he's getting a divorce. Because his wife decided to start smoking and drinking again (she was a convert and they got married in the temple). She would also go out partying with her friends and overdraft their checking account all the time. He finally figured out that that wasn't a good situation to be in.

Also it turns out that Papa Funk knows them because they come to his work. And he knows that his wife is a little bit on the crazy side in terms of being socially/fiscally/generally responsible. He feels that she is not a person we can trust to have in our house, and since the guy is getting a divorce we figure he must feel the same way. So we tell him that we don't want her in our house, ever. And he says he's fine with that.

We help him move stuff in and get his computer set up and stuff and generally be nice to the guy. He's trying to get his life back on track and things are messy, but we're nice.

He officially moved in on Wednesday (got his key from management) and things are fine.

Thursday, (that's the very next day!) Josh and I are sitting at home in the evening and there's a knock at the door. It's his (crazy) wife saying that she's meeting him here and that she'll just wait for him in his room. Standing on our front steps with her bleached-blonde hair done up in the typical Utah Rat's Nest hairdo (gross). We tell her, No, she's not coming in if he's not here. Cause we have no way of knowing if she's coming in to steal his stuff or do something inappropriate, ya know? They're supposedly getting a divorce, which generally means people aren't on good terms with each other. So we tell her to come back when he's home.

Now remember, we told him we didn't want her in our house, to which he agreed. About thirty minutes later he gets home and brings her in, and Papa Funk and I are not happy about it. She's inside for about 30 seconds and starts demanding answers about why we wouldn't let her in; to which we tell her why and she starts talking back at us. We were getting pissed.

Unfortunately for Papa Funk, I had to leave at this point to pick my sister and brother-in-law up at the airport. I didn't get home until about 1:45, so I'll fill in that part of the story from what Papa Funk told me.

He stayed up until about 1:00 waiting for her to leave, because he didn't feel comfortable going to bed with her in the house. She and new-guy finally left and Papa Funk locked the door and went to bed. I got home about 1:45 (as I said) and brushed my teeth and went upstairs. I'm in my room reading and within 10 minutes I hear his bedroom door open (his room is on the ground floor) and then I hear the front door open. Curious, I get up and move towards the stairs to try and determine what's happening.

The way my house is laid out is that the stairs break halfway up and make a 180 degree turn. On that landing is a window. At night this window acts as a perfect mirror to the doorway downstairs between the living room and kitchen/bathroom/bedroom area. So from the top of the stairs I can see a perfect reflection as the front door closes and he walks back into his room, followed by his wife after which he closes his bedroom door. I was not happy about this, but since it was already 2 am and I had work in the morning I decided I wasn't going to go argue with them about it on the spot. I waited for about 10 minutes to see if she would leave before going to bed.

In the morning Papa Funk got up and went to work, and then I got up around 9. While I'm in the shower I can hear his bedroom door open, and then the front door open and close. When I get out of the shower he's up and walking around. So I'm about 99.9% certain that she stayed the night. He snuck her in when he thought we were asleep and then tried to sneak her out in the morning. After we very clearly expressed that we didn't even want her in the house at all, to which he agreed. Of course, since this is single housing, the fact that he brought her into his bedroom at all, regardless of marital status, means that he violated his contract.

I told him straight out when I got done changing that, "She is not allowed to be sleeping here.". To which he tried to tell me a story about her leaving and coming back this morning before I got up. Which would have fit with what Papa Funk observed, because he did not know that I witnessed her coming in and going to his bedroom at 2 am. So after he told his fabricated story, I told him, "I know she came over last night after I got home at 2. So I just want to be clear: She is NOT allowed to sleep here." So he's got to know that he's busted.

Papa Funk and I then spoke to management, because we really don't want to come home one day to find our stuff gone. She's crazy enough to do it, and she is able to manipulate him into doing whatever she wants. So if she manages to convince him to let her borrow his key, we are going to have problems. Management agrees with us (thank goodness) and spoke to him to tell him that she is not allowed to be over here. It makes us really uncomfortable to have her in our house. Then management spoke to us again and said to tell them if anything else happens and he'll be gone instantly (it's nice to have management that loves you as tenants). Luckily, since he brought her into his bedroom, he violated the housing contract and getting rid of him will be rather easy, if need be.

So, now he knows that she cannot be in our house. So if he's stupid enough to bring her over here again thinking we won't find out [shakes head slowly] he's just asking for trouble.

He's a nice guy and all, but he doesn't seem to be in the top ranks of intelligence and allows this woman to manipulate him so much. And we hate worrying if our stuff will be gone when we get home. Or coming home and not feeling comfortable because we don't know if she's going to show up or not. Your home should be a sanctuary. And for Papa Funk and I it has been for months. That peace and security has been destroyed and we don't like it. We get enough stress at work every day, and want to be able to relax at home.

Now we feel like we have to play guard duty on the house day and night to make sure she's not there. I feel like I need to stay up late to listen for the front door, because he's already tried to sneak her in once. I don't like feeling this uncomfortable in my own home. So part of me and Papa Funk almost wishes for her to show up so that he'll be gone and we can get the locks changed and not feel like this. But if he does shape up and keep her away from here, then it's only four and a half weeks before his contract ends and we'll survive.

Sorry for the long post, but that needed to get out.

Something to write about

I haven't updated in a while, so I've been trying to come up with something to write about. So far I have been unsuccessful, so I'll just write about being unable to come up with anything to write about.

I'm not really in the mood to rant about anything-- I'm trying to avoid getting riled up about the nonsense that's going on.

I'm feeling pretty good about today's weather though. I even decided to wear shorts today. Too bad it will be cold again tomorrow, lamers.

In one more week I will learn if my paper was accepted to the Conference Workshop I submitted to.

I discovered over the past week that my savings are disappearing much more quickly than I can sustain, so I'm making a vow to cut down spending as much as possible. Which will be difficult since I'll be going to Europe in [checks] 3 weeks. In anticipation of which I applied for a Capital One credit card, which has no interest until September, and charges no foreign transaction fee. Which is important because the majority of other credit card companies will charge you 3% on each foreign transaction you make, but you should use a credit card because the giant companies get a much better exchange rate than you ever could alone.


After I take a test in an hour and a half I will only have two finals standing between me and freedom; I'm excited.

Anthology of Interest I

So I borrowed this title from Futurama, hopefully I have enough random stuff to talk about to consider it an anthology. In Futurama the title denotes an episode which is comprised of clips created by the "What If" machine. It can tell you the result of any "What If" question. Anyways... let's begin with my Anthology of Interest, volume I.

What if CPM were to go to Europe?
I'm going to London in May. I bought a plane ticket on Friday for non-stop, roundtrip flights for $441.66. Very excited. I'll be traveling with a couple of good friends.

What if more people appreciated beautiful music?
I'm watching the Celtic Woman: A New Journey DVD right now. It's the recording of their concert tour performed at Slane Castle in Ireland. It's extremely good. We (my roommates and I) enjoy watching it every so often. The singers have incredible voices (plus they're hot-- did I just say that?). We went and saw them at the E-Center last summer, it was an excellent show.

What if more scientists actually trusted the Scientific Method?
I'm reading a book entitled Hidden Histories of Science. It's a collection of essays about lesser known events in scientific history. I've read three of the five thus far and a common theme has become evident. First off, the essays were written completely independently, so it is coincidental that this theme arose from several authors. When scientists were studying what has come to be known as "hypnosis" a number of scientists made various claims that others would adamantly refute without replicating the experiment properly, or claiming they did (but truly not even trying). Now granted this was in the 18th century and there was still a lot of mysticism and similar silliness floating around in scientific circles. As a result it took years before the phenomenon was properly understood.

Fast forward to the 20th century. Researchers are trying to find out what causes cancer. A young scientist, Ludwik Gross, obsessed over the idea that some cancers were triggered by viral infections. Gross carefully performed experiments and eventually successfully, and repeatedly, induced cancerous tumors in mice by injecting them with filtered, ground-up, leukemic cells. The filtering process would remove any particle larger than virii (the best possible filtering at the time). Upon publishing his results in 1951 and 1952 he was ridiculed and scoffed at for his claims that a virus could cause cancer. The notion of viral cancers had been around since 1909 when the same concept had been demonstrated in chickens, and ignored in favor of genetic factors. Despite the fact that Gross had carefully documented his work none of the challenging scientists bothered to accurately reproduce his work. Doing so would have required using the same type of leukemic cells, the same species of mouse, the same filtrates, etc. Rather than accurately check Gross' work it was easier to simply dismiss it and denounce him as a crackpot. Finally, Jacob Furth, who had provided Gross with the mice and had a strong reputation already, did properly re-conduct Gross' and absolutely confirmed the results. At which point investigation into viral cancers exploded.

Similar mistrust occurred with Newton's experiments on optics and light. Too many scientists are more concerned with making a name for themselves than with discovering the truth about nature. While skepticism is necessary to weed out incorrect hypotheses it seems like we could be so much further ahead in science if more scientists trusted to the Method they claim to believe in.

What if I could better control my brain?
I've commented on this topic previously, but I just want to touch on it again. The mind is a really interesting thing. I can consciously know things and know that certain actions will bring about disappointment or enjoyment, and yet still be unable to convince the acting part of my mind to listen and obey those thoughts. When slipping into a state of depression I find myself unable to simply do the things that I know will make me feel better. Or when about to make a decision, that I know will only bring about disappointment, I am unable to change the course of that action. It's extremely frustrating at times.

Well, I guess that's everything for Volume I of the Anthology of Interest.

Feeling Up

"It's almost funny, the little things that trigger a drastic change in mood, or cause a mood shift to become recognized as such."

This was the sentence that began my previous entry. It still holds true, but I'm now viewing it from the top of the roller coaster instead of the bottom. It's just little things in life that make a difference. I'm not in a relationship this Valentine's Day, and yet I've already received two gestures of appreciation today, before 8:00 am. I wasn't expecting to receive anything today. I almost simply stayed home and worked from there because it was so gross out. But I had agreed to give a friend a ride to campus, so here I am. I feel good about life.

I also still have a double batch of sugar cookie dough that I will be turning into heart and frog cookies later today. "Hearts, ok, but frogs?", you ask? I borrowed a rolling pin from my sister because I don't own one (yet). She didn't have any heart-shaped cookie cutters, so she makes little frog prince cookies for Valentine's Day. Now, putting little crowns on them is much more work than I want to do so there are simply pink hearts and green frogs. For those that are anti-Valentine's Day that get cookies from me, they can eat a frog.

Life. What a roller coaster.

Feeling Down

It's almost funny, the little things that trigger a drastic change in mood, or cause a mood shift to become recognized as such. I was just skipping around the inter-webs, scanning through the "blogosphere" (have I ever mentioned how retarded I think that word is?), and upon reading a couple of friends' entries was hit by slight depression in having not seen these friends in awhile. One because of her getting married and moving to San Francisco (I'm looking at you Lavish), and others for various reasons of people being busy, or not living near anymore, or other reasons.

.......... [sigh]


And so I sit here listening to Dashboard Confessional. Good solid emo sounds for a depressed mind.


This is going to get very bleeding-heart-worn-on-my-sleeve in a minute, and I apologize in advance.

I just want someone to share my life with. I want someone to cook for. I want someone to take care of. I want someone that I am absolutely head-over-heels about, and that feels the same way for me.



Why do friends have to leave, or slip away?

It takes so much time and energy for me to form relationships to a level where I consider them "friends". It's a curse of being an introvert. Especially because it makes it extra-hard to make friends with other introverts. So you end up being friends with extroverts, people who will call you "friend" after saying your name and shaking your hand.

So much time and energy and then they just slip away.

A few years ago I would picture my future and could see a wife and a family, a house, getting by in the world. Recently that future has been getting harder and harder to picture. I'm beginning to think it much more likely that I will simply continue living alone (or with my 4-year roommate Papa Funk), going about my menial life doing mostly menial things. Sure I'll probably have money, I'm smart enough to get a well paying job. But, as nice as having money will be, I already crave more than money can provide.


All I really want is someone that I'm absolutely crazy about that I can lavish my attention on.

Is that so much to ask?

Sigh

I've just spent the last however long reading through all my posts on this blog. I don't know why. I just wanted to review my life a little bit. I slept for a few hours this afternoon due to being exhausted from forgetting to eat lunch, and not getting the proper amount of sleep for the past few nights. I've just been sitting in my living room listening to Pandora (hooked from my computer to my stereo) and reading my blog posts. I stopped for a minute to watch and listen to the hail. And I paused for a bit when alishka informed me that it was snowing in North Orem. I haven't eaten since 4:45, and I'm not hungry. I should just go to bed.

Dealing with life

Do you ever get the feeling that you're only an observer in your own life?

Lately I've been feeling like I see my life happening, but I'm not really controlling it. Not like I feel helpless that I have can't control things that happen to me; but that I'm simply watching my life occur, without being an active participant. Like watching a TV show, you observe, but you don't feel anxious that you're not changing what's happening, you're just a passive participant of the character's lives. I had this feeling growing in me noticeably for the past few days, although I suspect it's been around much longer than that. I think it may be connected with going through a stage of mild depression.


Now for something completely different:

I think my dream job might be as a professional thinker, analyzer, and advice-giver. I enjoy thinking about challenging problems, digging into them and picking them apart, and then providing insight; but I find that I don't much enjoy implementing those ideas. *GASP* I'm a THEORIST! Hm, I wonder how that happened. I'm fairly certain I was not a theorist 3 years ago. At that point in time I would have much rather have solved a problem by implementing a solution, rather than analyzing it and providing a theoretical solution, but not actually carrying it out. Now I would prefer to think it through, come up with an answer, and leave it to someone else to implement.

I see this trend in a number of my activities. I think it suggests I would rather be in a management position than an underling position. Which is interesting, because, again, 3 years ago I would have been content to just be given a project, and then complete it. Now I would find that particularly frustrating. I would rather make the design decisions and pass those on to the code monkeys. It is definitely a good thing I decided to get a Master's degree. I think I would have become miserable in an entry level job by now. I wonder if I should get a PhD.

Nurturer

I've come to realize over the last week or so that I am a nurturer. I really like doing nice things for people. I like to take care of my friends when they aren't feeling well. I like to surprise people with thoughtful things. I really like bringing flowers to a girl spontaneously and watching her smile, giggle, and get all giddy. I like putting a blanket over someone when they've fallen asleep and the room gets cold. I like making people hot chocolate on cool autumn evenings and cold winter days. I like to cook for people I care about. I like being a shoulder to cry on. I like being there when a friend just needs to talk to someone. I like giving gifts that show I know the person and thought about what they would like.

I know that doing these things makes me happy, yet I still get hung up in bad cycles in my life. I know I have things I need to fix about my life. Many days I will even be able to see that the best way for me to break those cycles is to do more things for other people and stop focusing on myself. But it is still so difficult at times to remember that.

Autumn always makes me wax nostalgic of days when I had someone to curl up with on cold evenings, sipping hot chocolate and watching the leaves fall off the trees.

Here's a poem I wrote last year about this time:

Autumn

The smell of a campfire
   somewhere in the distance
   drifts along the road.
Leaves rustle in the wind
   discontent with their new home.
Yellow, Orange, Red, Brown
   Against the grey sky.
And although far away,
   I close my eyes, breathe the cool air:
I'm sitting under my old Maple
   And, for a moment, all is well.

Something

I've had this problem before, and I'm not sure what to call it. I wouldn't say that I'm depressed, but perhaps it really is just a mild form of depression. I get into an emotional state where I feel like I want something to happen, but that trying to make it happen would lead to pain and anguish. Also coupled with that feeling is that at night I don't want to go to sleep. It feels like going to sleep is simply allowing more time to pass in the situation that I want to change. Or something. It's sort of like feeling that if I go to sleep, I'm letting more time slip by that I should be doing something valuable with. Not like I'm accomplishing anything by staying up later, I dunno.

This probably doesn't make any sense to someone that hasn't experienced it. I'm fairly certain I know what my problem is, but I don't think there's anything I can do about it. It's just very emotionally draining, and gives me this pit in my stomach, and twists my heart about a bit.

I should try to go to sleep now. I haven't been sleeping well, and waking up in the morning has been getting more difficult as it is darker each morning, and it was really cold this morning.

A CS678 Narrative

The system had continued processing well past the predicted length of time needed for an answer. (Apparently those pesky constants really do make a difference when analyzing time complexity of an algorithm.) So while the massive project kept on churning away, the operators waited. The program had been in place for a long time and development had hit many demoralizing setbacks. However, The results of this experiment would be monumental, and the work continued unabated.
The first set of clunky, slow, and cumbersome behemoths had to be scrapped completely. The costs had been astronomical, overshadowed only by the catastrophic failure, of which the rotting hulks were a constant, painful reminder. No useful data was collected from this initial batch except the knowledge of a few designs that didn't work. They lacked a common API and inter-unit communication was non-existent. Once these details were understood it was no real surprise that the units seemed incapable of learning anything which could be considered particularly intelligent.
The purpose of the research had been to study multi-agent interaction in an open environment governed only by very loose goals and expectations. The explicit-communication breakdown between units had, of course, made this much less interesting. The results of the implicit-communication of studying opponent actions was more of a novelty than anything of real value. Of course there were many who found this action-orientated communication to be fascinating and an entire faction of the project broke away to pursue the idea further. Their work progressed much more quickly as they needed not spend time developing a common communications interface for the various designs. Thousands of prototypes were built and the successful ones entered full-scale production. Many of the design groups did begin adding primitive communications, but these systems never progressed much beyond basic commands like, “come”, “go”, “help”, “run away” or similar, basic phrase-concepts.
After many years of development the original group produced a prototype that had a strong grasp of a complete language for interfacing. They fittingly referred to this prototype as “Adam”. Seeing that Adam appeared to fulfill the majority of requirements set forth at the beginning of the project, full-scale production of this design began. The interaction between agents started without much excitement. The units acknowledged each others' existence and set about exploring the world.
One of the loose goals built into the systems was to increase the number of “friends” they had within their environment. In order to foster these friendships the agents began sharing information with each other about their knowledge of the world so far, saving each unit time and energy (conserving energy was another goal, and the designers linked the system's power infrastructure to the sun to make this goal more meaningful).
The first deviation from the cooperative interaction came along fairly quickly. Two agents had both obtained information about an energy source. Hoping to foster friendships they raced back to the main group to share their newly acquired knowledge. One of the systems determined that if the other returned first that it would build the friendships and the one to arrive second would have nothing of value to offer the group. Considering the value of the information and of friendships the agent decided it would be more in his interest to prevent the other agent from returning at all, lose the value of that friendship, but gain the value from sharing the energy source information with the remaining agents. The first betrayal had been made, to signify the event the betraying agent was called “Cain”. Cain continued to develop self-serving attitudes that ignored the consequences inflicted upon the other agents. Learning from this behavior the other agents became less cooperative for fear that they might be the victim of another Cain.
As more and more agents were introduced into the environment there began to be competition over the provided energy sources. It was no longer possible for the agents to all share the available supplies and some began banding together to secure a single source and protect it from non-cooperating agents. This behavior grew and eventually the factions grew too large for their energy sources. Many agents were forced away and simply ran out of energy. More sources were added into the environment and to make things more interesting existing sources were moved or removed to spark interaction. The interesting result was that when a source was removed the agents cooperating for the resource usually panicked and stopped cooperating as they searched for another source. Eventually it was determined that using the entire group to take over a smaller group would be more effective and large scale “wars” began.
Agents began developing more effective means of “battling” and types of weapons were created. This type of behavior continued for long periods of time with only short intervals of cooperation when energy sources were abundant. The operators of the system began to be very curious about the behavior of the agents, and began experimenting by providing opposing groups with different capabilities. New types of resources were added forcing groups to at least try cooperating if they wanted access to each of them.
Amazingly, the groups of agents generally refused to cooperate with each other so long as they each had control of at least some of each resource and a large enough group to maintain that control. The designers and operators repeatedly tried to provide incentives for cooperation, but progress was slow and the groups generally decided they could do better by not cooperating.
A final experiment for the system was decided on. A new weapon would be given to the groups at random. This weapon would give the controlling groups the ability to wipe out other groups in a very short amount of time. The operators waited on outcome of this ultimate test. What would happen when more than one group had this capability?
It has been 62 years since the fission bomb was introduced to the world. After two devastating uses the opposing groups decided that perhaps the weapon was too powerful and agreed to not use it, but continued to threaten each other with it. The greatest experiment in multi-agent interaction is nearing the end of its needed computation time. The operators of the system Earth will soon discover how the agent design type 'Human' will end: as a cooperative collective, or in a nuclear holocaust.

Be Someone

Fairly often my thoughts turn to some rather unusual processes. For instance, have you ever really thought about 'time'? Can you come up with a truly satisfactory answer for "What is time?" I can't, and that bothers me sometimes. Our existence on earth as mortals is entwined with a linear time, things occur in succession from one moment to the next. If we are to understand anything from the scriptures about time, we must concede that time is not simply linear. But, if it's not simply linear, in what fashion will we then interact with time? If life will be in any similar to our current existence it seems that at least moments of time must be linearly arranged. It takes time to do things. By the time you finish reading this sentence, or word, or letter, time will have passed. The only way for existence to make any sense is if you can read this sentence in order and comprehend what it's saying based on the linear arrangement of the words; which takes time. So time must be linear, but supposedly is not simply linear. I am really curious to know how God interacts with mortal events if time is not simply linear, it must be a fascinating existence.

As my mind delves into the realm of abstract philosophy I also find myself wishing I were part of something big. I read books and immerse myself into another existence, and dream that I could be a real part of something like that. To know for sure that I'm fighting the good fight, and that my actions will recorded in history and told as stories. To be in something larger than life. To play a real role that people take notice of. To make a difference. But life isn't like that, at least not for me. Oh sure, some people will talk about how we're all playing that part in our own lives in some way; but I don't want to just be playing the part of CPM in CPM's boring life. I want to set out on an adventure that will become my life for a long period of time. To go places and do things that no one else does. I guess I just feel like the world has become too small for my desires of adventure. When you can get anywhere in the world in 24 hours, it just doesn't seem like a real adventure. And, of course, I have no goal to reach at the end of any journey I may take.

I dunno, I just want to be part of something meaningful, to be someone.

Sneak Peek: Board Question 33915

So I just answered this, and it won't post until tomorrow, but I'll probably forget to put it up here tomorrow because I'm going to be crazy busy. So here it is, enjoy your sneak peek.

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Dear CPM,

How are you? I hope you are well.

So, for a few days now, I've had this feeling that there is a question I want/need to ask you. But for the life of me, I cannot figure out what it is! Perhaps you know?

~ Kismet Keeper

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Dear Kismet,

Perhaps you were going to ask me one of the questions I've been asking myself a lot lately: What do I want to do with my life? I've had a lot of interesting things occur recently and the time is soon approaching for me to decide where my life is really headed. Over the weekend I had a nice chat with someone I really like, her question: "What is your greatest ambition?" (or something akin to that anyways.)

So, since I didn't respond to the question that posted today about goals, I'll respond here.

My Goals in life:

1. Be Happy
- to be achieved by the following:

2. Get married to a wonderful woman who is excited to raise a family with me and with whom I have common dreams/goals (see below)
3. Make my wife feel like the luckiest woman alive
4. Raise a family
5. Own a house in which to achieve #4, this house should have enough land around it for my kids to play in
6. Have said house be in an area where I don't have to lock the doors or worry about my kids disappearing off the street
7. Provide for my family with a steady job where I can leave my work at the office
8. Leave my work at the office and devote my time at home to my family
9. Read as many books as possible
10. Cook for my family as often as is feasible

I think these 10 things are what I want most out of life. They are the things that I will push the hardest for above all else. But there are still other things that I would like to do if life goes my way.

Things that would be nice to do if possible:

1. Visit Australia / New Zealand
2. Visit France
3. Fly in a hot air balloon
4. Visit a little diner somewhere and leave a $100 bill as a tip, just to make someone's day
5. Have enough money to not have to worry about it
6. Visit Machu Picchu

-Curious Physics Minor

Life is....

Life is very surprising sometimes. This weekend for example. Never in a million years would I have anticipated the events of this past weekend. Very unusual, but in the end everything turned out quite nicely. I guess it just goes to show that just because you have an idea in your head about what your life is going to be, doesn't mean that that idea is going to have any bearing on what your life really becomes. And no, you don't get to know any more information about what happened this past weekend, not at the moment anyways.

Anywho, Life and I are on good terms again.

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And a big congratulations to all of us at The Board, we managed to post 100 questions/comments today. I'm fairly certain that this is a new Board record. And upon looking at the inbox, I've decided that we need more writers. We're getting swamped.