I Am Legend

I saw "I Am Legend" over the weekend. I'd heard that the reviews weren't stellar, but I wanted to see it anyways. I thought it was a great movie. The story development is well done, special effects were excellent, and the story moved along. There was never a point when I was sitting wondering when they were going to get on with things, it kept up at a good pace and the director made excellent use of sounds, and camera angles to keep the tension high, without resorting to constant jump scenes. While there were some things to complain about, they were minimal compared to most thriller movies. The plot mostly made sense, which does a lot in terms of keeping me in the story. I won't go into too much detail so that I don't ruin it for people, but I enjoyed it and would recommend it to anyone looking for a good thriller. There's very little gore, and not much in the way of foul language either (that I remember), nor is there any completely irrelevant love interest story that randomly develops, "necessitating" a gratuitous sex scene as is often the case with such movies. It is simply a good, thrilling, scary movie.

It's an Integer Life

First off, apologies for the terrible abuse of a classic movie title.

Now then, hm, what a funny phrase: "Now then". Is it supposed to make sense? Anyways, ignoring that and moving on: my life has been integer based for the last week or so. What do I mean by this? My car has a digital odometer and trip counter. Everywhere that I've driven in the last month has caused the trip meter to end in X.0, on an exact mile distance. And I mean everywhere. To school is exactly 2.0 miles, to Alishka's is exactly 1.0 mile, to my sister's house is exactly 3.0 miles. It's really quite strange, and I've never noticed before. It's just a little oddity of life that I picked up on, and I hope everyone else enjoys the peculiarity of it.

Apologies....

Sorry I haven't written in forever. Life has gotten busy. I really don't have time to be writing now, but I am....

I'm only in two classes this semester, two 600 level classes... I have a busier last two weeks of classes than I ever had in my entire undergraduate career. Hopefully things will be better next semester when I'll only be taking two 400 level classes.

I'll be finishing up papers and projects this week, then taking two finals, and in 9 days I leave for Connecticut.

Oh, and if anyone would like to buy me a Wii, I'd really appreciate it... or come up with present ideas for the many members of my family that I need presents for, that'd be acceptable as well.

Right out of a scary movie

I woke up this morning at 7:15, as I usually do. I tend to have difficulty actually waking up, so I hopped on my computer and checked out the deal websites and the news. The reading usually prompts my brain to start working. At about 7:25 I went downstairs to take a shower. As I flipped the switch to turn on the light in the bathroom I got a small shock from the accumulated static generated by my slippers. At that moment I hear the sounds of the 20 Questions ball sitting on the shelf around the corner in the living room. Perplexed I walk in and find it turning on asking me if I want to play. I press "No" but nothing happens, so I pressing each of the other non-yes buttons, to no avail. So I press "Yes" and it begins with the question asking. Rather creepy. So I started answering the questions somewhat randomly, nothing particularly in mind. I'm mostly just hoping that when I finish it won't respond with something like, "I'm right behind you." or "Isn't it a good day to die?". After responding to question 20 it tells me that I'm thinking of a Magic 8 Ball. Fine, whatever. I put it back on the shelf and took my shower. As of yet there have been no further mysterious occurrences today.

A Scary Thought

So, I've been thinking. The rhetoric has already begun that terrorists will probably target the 2008 elections. My original fear was that King George would attempt to cancel or postpone the election claiming that terrorist attacks would make it too dangerous to hold. But, I think enough of the country would be unhappy about that so that it's not a feasible plan. What if, instead, the election were held, but the winning candidates were killed before Inauguration Day? Would we simply hand over the office to the runner ups? Would we hold a new election? I know of nothing that covers this situation in the law (I haven't studied it extensively, but I'm fairly certain this contingency isn't in the Constitution anywhere). With a Bush friendly Supreme Court, and a Bush friendly Attorney General, I don't know what would happen. I don't like where it may lead though:

1. President-elect and Vice-President-elect assassinated before taking office.
2. Bush declares National Emergency and using Executive Order 12919 begins a militarily enforced dictatorship.
3. ? I don't know what happens in step 3, but I sure hope we never have to find out.

Break Time

So I haven't written in over a week. I know. But on my other blog I haven't written in over TWO weeks, so you all should feel pretty good about life.

I'm finally all caught up on grading. Those pesky tests will be going back to the students today. Hopefully the grades won't ruin their Thanksgiving breaks.

For FHE last night we played Guitar Hero III, such a fun game. I'm really hoping I'll be able to get my hands on a Wii for Christmas this year, and very soon after, Guitar Hero III. I was going to get one last year, but none of my family members enlisted in the search were able to find one. Nintendo is producing around 1.3 million consoles a month, and they still can't keep them on the shelves for more than a few hours at a time. Incredible.

Other than those things, life is mostly just chugging along.

I bought a 1000 ft of cat 5e cable yesterday. I'm going to spend some of my break running network cable around the house so my roommates can have a hard-line connection in their rooms. It will be fun. I got a drill bit, crimper, tester, and time; all the necessary components. We're also planning to get the trim up in the living room, that will look very nice.


At the beginning of the semester I made an arbitrary deadline of November 23 to have a draft of my thesis proposal written. It is November 20, and I have about 10 entries in my annotated bibliography as well as a few sentences written in my introduction. I'm a little behind on that... oh well. It will get done eventually.

Sadly, It's time for a rant

Pardon me for a moment while I rant, and apologies for the first line which has uncharacteristically strong language.


What the hell are we letting the government do to this country?

I've given the Republicans a fairly good thrashing over the past few years due to the innumerable many stupid things they've done. They mostly got this attention because they happened to be in control of the government. Today we get to turn our attention to the equally incompetent Democratic party:

The College Opportunity and Affordability Act of 2007 (Copy of the text here. See pages 382 and 412), introduced to the House of Representatives on November 9 by Representatives Miller (D-CA) and Hinojosa (D-TX), has provisions in it to cut federal financial aid to all students of any university/college that refuses or is unable to implement technology aimed to spy on students in order to track and stop copyright infringement. In addition to this it would become mandatory for these institutions to either pay a "royalty fee" (also known as extortion) to the MPAA/RIAA for works that may have been and might be illegally copied over their infrastructure, or "provide" students with access to a fee-based service such as the new Napster, iTunes, or some other such garbage riddled system.

Are you kidding me?!

The RIAA/MPAA actually have (at least) these two "representatives" in their pockets, completely. They want to threaten colleges for not policing copyright infringement. That's so utterly ridiculous that I can't even come up with a suitably absurd analogy to compare it to, but here's a shot anyways: it's like cutting off financial aid to all students of any university that fails to arrest and prosecute all jaywalkers.

We all know BYU already has lots of systems and monitoring in place to deter illegal file-sharing via the BYU network, so they're probably already compliant with the provisions of this bill. I'm not upset with the monitoring itself, I know BYU does this, I choose to be at BYU, and I also choose not to live in BYU housing. But turning this into a demand and threat is absolutely unacceptable. The government has no place making these kind of broad sweeping threats against patrons of an institution due to the private actions of some of its patrons. What kind of justice would it be to cut off federal financial aid to 33,739 students because some handful of the 6,748 students living on-campus participate in illegal activities (statistics from UtahMentor.org). Even if every single one of the students living in on-campus housing were violating copyright infringement laws the law would still punish almost 27,000 students for something they had no control over or participation in.

Absolutely unacceptable.

Sadly, the daily disappointments in the government don't end there.

Back to the Republicans, specifically Darth Vader, err Dick Cheney (Hey, he dressed up as Darth Vader for Halloween so that's not a arbitrary potshot). Apparently the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran has been delayed by the White House (Dick Cheney's office) for over a year specifically because the information it contains does not support attacking Iran. Yup, the people in charge of drafting the report (which combines the intelligence efforts of 16 agencies) were told to rewrite it until the dissenting opinions about Iran were eradicated. Fortunately for us (finally), some of the people involved didn't think this would be appropriate and have not only refused to remove the information that doesn't support the current rhetoric, but have come out to the press to tell the world what's happening. This type of selective information reporting is disgusting. It's the same run-up to the Iraq invasion: falsified intelligence documents, continual lying to the American people and the world... the propaganda machine is in full swing. And for some reason the American people are buying it. The latest poll results that I have seen show that more than 50% of those polled are in support for attacking Iran. Are you people insane?! Have you not learned that we're already neck deep in our screw-ups?




But let's move on to yet another disturbing move by someone in this administration: (How I wish I didn't have this many things to be angry about).

Donald Kerr, Director of the National Reconnaissance Office, (and currently principle deputy director of national intelligence) says we need to adjust our definition of privacy to fit the government's. Which is, according to him, that no longer does privacy mean anonymity; privacy means something to the effect of "The government knows everything about you, so just trust them to use that information responsibly". I don't know what language he speaks, but I'm pretty sure he just defined "trust", heck it's right there in the sentence. I want my version of privacy specifically because I can't trust the government.

The problem, according to Kerr's line of thought, isn't that government and businesses may have intricately detailed information about citizens, or that they might be actively working to collect such data as part of an extensive program of electronic surveillance. The concerns, Kerr says, should be focused on how such data is safeguarded and how Americans view the importance of that data.

No, the issue isn't how that data is "safeguarded" the issue is that you have no right or reason to have detailed personal information about what I buy, where I travel, with whom I speak, or when I do these things. And until I've broken a law and was found guilty by a jury of my peers you have no reason to know anything about me, other than that I exist.

The people running this government are absolutely un-freaking-believable.

The mind of a Halo terrorist

Clive Thompson provides an interesting glimpse into the minds of suicide bombers. His experience in getting creamed playing Halo 3 online drove him to develop a new strategy, one which he quickly discovered was essentially suicide bombing. Why does it work you ask? Halo awards points for kills, but does not punish for deaths. So if you're about to die anyways, you can run crazy at your opponent and then stick a plasma grenade to their face as you crumple to the ground in a heap. And a few seconds later, they die too. So one could see how if a person believes wholeheartedly that they will die regardless of their actions, their most rational course of actions is to take out as many of their enemies as they can when they go. If your points are tallied by how many bad guys you kill, then you need to kill as many as you can before you die. And if you believe that anyone that doesn't believe as you do is a bad guy, then, well, that's what happens. Yes, it is a warped way of thinking, but within that mindset suicide bombing is the only rational thing to do.

The mind is a fascinating thing, which can be twisted and screwed up in so many fascinating ways....

Likes and Dislikes

I've identified a personality trait that really annoys me: Strangers who make themselves at home in my territory. It's my space and until I know you well enough you don't get to act like it's yours. Don't come in here and start tossing your stuff around, messing with furniture, and eating my treats. Grrr....


In other news, I've begun a collection of Halloween-y classical music. I plan on playing it from my car at ward FHE Trunk or Treat tonight. My mix so far contains:

In the Hall of the Mountain King
Danse Macabre
El Amor Brujo (Ritual Fire Dance)
The Devil's Trill
A Night on Bald Mountain
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Infernal Dance
Toccata and Fugue in D Minor

as well as the Mannheim Steamroller Halloween Mix. Let me know if you have any other suggestions I can add to the list.

Rexburg

I took a trip to Rexburg from Friday evening to Saturday night. It was a bit of a drive, but enjoyable nonetheless (it's funny that nonetheless is one word, isn't it?). Who knew that BYU-I has a pretty good symphony orchestra?

I made Fruity Krispies Treats to bring to my home-teachees today. 2/3 Rice Krispies, 1/3 Fruity Pebbles. Basically we're the coolest home teachers ever.

Update on Unwell v2.0

I finished my 10 day course of amoxicillin (an antibiotic in the penicillin family). On Saturday evening/night all of my previous near-death symptoms returned. The bacteria had survived the antibiotics and bred back into full force in the intervening ~30 hours. I woke up around 4 am on Sunday morning and every time I would fall asleep I'd wake up again about 6 seconds later. I finally figured out that my natural breathing pattern while sleeping wasn't working due to my swollen tonsils. So my body would fall asleep and when it tried to breathe, no air would come in and then my brain would wake me up saying, "WAKE UP YOU FOOL YOU CAN'T BREATHE". So that was pleasant.

So Sunday morning held another trip to the Urgent Care Facility in Orem. This time I got to see Dr. Christensen. Seeing that I had a textbook case of an infection surviving weak antibiotics he took another throat swab (to test for Strep: Negative) and a blood sample (to test for Mono: Negative). With these two likely factors ruled out again for 4 and 2 times respectively he decided to prescribe me a stronger antibiotic (Avelox) and a steroid (prednisone) for the swelling. The antibiotics usually cost >$10 per pill, and due to my insurance being CT only, and unlikely to cover the drugs right at the pharmacy he instead went and found me 9 sample pills, and gave them to me (which I was very grateful for).

The drugs are working nicely and I can continue about my life. Hopefully my body with the new drugs can finally kill off the infection. An interesting side effect of one of the drugs is that I have an slightly increased resting heart rate. Which provokes a feeling of slight nervousness or unsettledness. Somewhat like a person with ADHD feels. As long as I'm involved in something I find engaging I'm fine, but anytime I'd otherwise just be relaxing I start to feel like I need to find something to hold my attention or I get bothered. It's a fairly odd sensation.

Sigh

I've just spent the last however long reading through all my posts on this blog. I don't know why. I just wanted to review my life a little bit. I slept for a few hours this afternoon due to being exhausted from forgetting to eat lunch, and not getting the proper amount of sleep for the past few nights. I've just been sitting in my living room listening to Pandora (hooked from my computer to my stereo) and reading my blog posts. I stopped for a minute to watch and listen to the hail. And I paused for a bit when alishka informed me that it was snowing in North Orem. I haven't eaten since 4:45, and I'm not hungry. I should just go to bed.

Dealing with life

Do you ever get the feeling that you're only an observer in your own life?

Lately I've been feeling like I see my life happening, but I'm not really controlling it. Not like I feel helpless that I have can't control things that happen to me; but that I'm simply watching my life occur, without being an active participant. Like watching a TV show, you observe, but you don't feel anxious that you're not changing what's happening, you're just a passive participant of the character's lives. I had this feeling growing in me noticeably for the past few days, although I suspect it's been around much longer than that. I think it may be connected with going through a stage of mild depression.


Now for something completely different:

I think my dream job might be as a professional thinker, analyzer, and advice-giver. I enjoy thinking about challenging problems, digging into them and picking them apart, and then providing insight; but I find that I don't much enjoy implementing those ideas. *GASP* I'm a THEORIST! Hm, I wonder how that happened. I'm fairly certain I was not a theorist 3 years ago. At that point in time I would have much rather have solved a problem by implementing a solution, rather than analyzing it and providing a theoretical solution, but not actually carrying it out. Now I would prefer to think it through, come up with an answer, and leave it to someone else to implement.

I see this trend in a number of my activities. I think it suggests I would rather be in a management position than an underling position. Which is interesting, because, again, 3 years ago I would have been content to just be given a project, and then complete it. Now I would find that particularly frustrating. I would rather make the design decisions and pass those on to the code monkeys. It is definitely a good thing I decided to get a Master's degree. I think I would have become miserable in an entry level job by now. I wonder if I should get a PhD.

Blog Action Day

You may have though that the previous post was all you'd get in addition to the first post of the day. But, you'd be wrong. My various web-wanderings have led me upon Blog Action Day. This year, participating bloggers are supposed to write something about the environment.

How can you make a difference in the environment from right here at your desk? It's actually quite simple: Turn off your computer when you leave. If you work at a computer for work each day, simply turn it off when you leave to go home. At least turn it off on the weekends. The amount of energy used to power computers left idle after work each day is tremendous. If we all turned them off when we weren't using them it would have a substantial impact upon the amount of energy consumed.

American Freedom Campaign

Ok, so you get a little more than that last post:

We do not support the actions of this government.

Can we please have the United States of 2000 back? You know, before Bush screwed us all.

Doing better

I'm mostly recovered from my bout with death. My throat is still slightly irritated, but at this point it's more of a minor inconvenience than anything else.

I'm not really feeling in the mood to write much. So this is all you'll get at the moment.

Update on Unwell

I went to the Urgent Care Clinic in Orem on Sunday morning. I had a negative rapid Strep test, but because this happened to me last time I had Strep they sent a culture into the lab. The doctor prescribed me "Magic Mouthwash" which is just a cocktail of Benadryl, Maalox, and Lidocaine. It's supposed to coat and numb the irritated area; it had no effect. Then as previously mentioned Ibuprofen solved my issue for 7 hours before becoming ineffective.
Monday evening I began having fairly severe pain and went back to the Urgent Care Clinic. They ran another rapid Strep test because this time I had a fever. See I was presenting textbook Strep symptom at a severe level; because of this the doctor this time prescribed me antibiotics and Tylenol with Codeine for the pain. I came home and took my new drugs hoping for the best. A maximum recommended dosage of the Codeine seemed to have no effect on my pain, I was becoming very annoyed.
I went to bed, and slept for about 45 minutes when I woke up with more pain, and the new symptoms of being unable to open my jaw more than half way, and being unable to touch my chin to my chest. I took two more Codeine pills and but they brought no relief within 20 minutes. So, I called the Nurse Hot-Line that my insurance company participates in, and with the addition of the new symptoms she told me I should go to the Emergency Room to get checked because I may have developed an abscess. So I changed into quasi-normal clothing and drove to the Emergency Room.
I checked in at about 1:30am and there was one other person in front of me. (Random aside, they were trying to call someone, but couldn't make long distance calls from the hospital, so I let them borrow my cell phone). About the time I finished checking in the Codeine seemed to be taking effect (FINALLY!), which was quite nice. Having the extra dose of Codeine made the ~1 hour 15 minute wait bearable.
Upon being seen the registrar working that night was a guy from my last ward, so it was kind of nice to see a familiar face, even if I didn't know him very well at all. Anyways, they gave me a steroid shot to help the inflammation (I never really noticed it have any effect though). Then they did a CT scan of my throat to check for abscesses. The CT came back clean, so I was released with a follow up appointment for today at a Ears, Nose, and Throat doctor, as well as a prescription for Lortab in case the pain got worse (since the Codeine hadn't been working originally). I haven't filled that prescription yet, since I've already spent like $75+ on drugs so far.
I came home and took another couple Codeine pills and fell asleep. The biggest problem with sleeping has been that the body needs to do something with the spit it creates. So I either have to swallow it which is painful enough to wake me up, drool it (not ideal), or let it pool up in my mouth until I choke on it. My body had retrained itself to do the latter in order to get some rest. Thankfully, one of my many drugs gave me dry-mouth last night, and I slept for 4 hour stretches at a time.

I'm feeling quite a bit better at the moment, and hopefully it's not just the Codeine. I should be hearing back the results of the Strep culture sometime this afternoon or evening.

Still not good

Yesterday evening I took some Ibuprofen for a painful lymph gland. To my pleasant surprise it also took down the swelling in my tonsils and I felt almost healthy from 4:00 to 11:00 when I went to bed. I took more Ibuprofen throughout the night, and all day today, but without the same amazing effect. It still helps with my swollen tonsils, but not as much as yesterday, and now I have a painful lymph gland on the left side of my neck which seems to be ignoring the Ibuprofen.

I'm beginning to suspect that I'm infected by nanoscopic Borg virii. They simply adapt to any effective treatment. Perhaps I just need to randomly modulate the phase pulse of the Ibuprofen signature; that always worked on Star Trek, right?

I am hating modern medicine for being unable to treat viruses.

Unwell

I am ridiculously ill feeling today. I woke up yesterday morning with a slightly sore throat. I came home around 5, and by 6 my slightly sore throat had developed into an extremely painfully sore/swollen throat, a headache, muscle pains, joint pains, and a fever. That is one fast acting bug. I'm now attempting to survive on cough drops, Alka-Seltzer Plus Day Cold cough syrup, and ice cream to attempt to numb my throat.

I would wish this on no one. I haven't felt this sick in like 7 years. Honestly I can't remember the last time I actually stayed home from illness (except when I had gotten out of the hospital). I hate being sick.

Unknown Person

I just had a lovely conversation with a guy who called my name as I walked by on my way to the Wilk. We spoke for about 3 minutes in transit. I still haven't the slightest clue who he was, but he knew me.

Transformers

Here are 13 things I "learned" from Transformers (which I saw last night at the dollar theater):

1. When an alien robot attacks a military base the only people to survive will be a rag-tag special forces unit, who happened to take a picture.

2. Alien robots can 'hack' into government systems using fancy, human-audible, audio signals. It remains unclear how this magical process works.

3. Good alien robots always pick fun, but tactically useless cars to disguise themselves as.

4. Bad alien robots always pick friggin' awesome, decked out military vehicles to disguise themselves as; for example: a tank, attack helicopter, or an F-22 jet fighter.

5. Bad alien robots are always way stronger than good alien robots, not to mention like 10 times bigger. As such, without the help of otherwise useless humans the good alien robots would be annihilated by their bigger, badder counterparts.

6. As long as a bad alien robot walks around non-nonchalantly no one will notice them, even as they walk by hundreds of police and military personnel, or through Air Force One.

7. A super bad alien robot who can conquer the opposing alien robots and lead his followers across the universe in pursuit of their magical cube thingy fails to take into account the Earth's magnetic field upon atmospheric entry, and therefore ends up frozen in the arctic circle for 11,000 years.

8. When trapped in a secret government facility under the Hoover Dam there will be an entire room filled with old computer/radio equipment covered with cobwebs, however, there will be no microphone. In lieu of a microphone one can send Morse code (ok so far). But, in order to send the Morse code, you must rewire a computer terminal to the radio and hope to heaven it has a built in Morse code program which will listen to and properly parse the audio Morse code signal to hyphen and period characters and display it on the screen. If this awesome hacker dude already knows Morse code (unlikely, given his age), wouldn't it have been easier to simply take a live wire wired to the radio and tap it against something grounded?

9. Somewhere within about 30 miles of the Hoover Dam is a large city with many 4-story overpass structures and sky scrapers, but is NOT Las Vegas.

10. A giant alien robot bent on your destruction will bend down and reveal his only vulnerable point within arms reach of you and the only thing that will destroy him.

11. When alien robots invade Earth the United States will be the only country to know or care about it.

12. When alien robots invade Earth not a single person will suggest using nuclear weapons (and the resulting EMP wave) to try and destroy them before they kill everyone.

13. You can save the world so long as you have at your disposal a hot girlfriend, the United States Air Force, a Special Forces unit previously stationed in Qatar, oh, and a team of giant alien robots.


Despite these things I actually did enjoy the movie; I just had to turn my brain way off.

Nurturer

I've come to realize over the last week or so that I am a nurturer. I really like doing nice things for people. I like to take care of my friends when they aren't feeling well. I like to surprise people with thoughtful things. I really like bringing flowers to a girl spontaneously and watching her smile, giggle, and get all giddy. I like putting a blanket over someone when they've fallen asleep and the room gets cold. I like making people hot chocolate on cool autumn evenings and cold winter days. I like to cook for people I care about. I like being a shoulder to cry on. I like being there when a friend just needs to talk to someone. I like giving gifts that show I know the person and thought about what they would like.

I know that doing these things makes me happy, yet I still get hung up in bad cycles in my life. I know I have things I need to fix about my life. Many days I will even be able to see that the best way for me to break those cycles is to do more things for other people and stop focusing on myself. But it is still so difficult at times to remember that.

Autumn always makes me wax nostalgic of days when I had someone to curl up with on cold evenings, sipping hot chocolate and watching the leaves fall off the trees.

Here's a poem I wrote last year about this time:

Autumn

The smell of a campfire
   somewhere in the distance
   drifts along the road.
Leaves rustle in the wind
   discontent with their new home.
Yellow, Orange, Red, Brown
   Against the grey sky.
And although far away,
   I close my eyes, breathe the cool air:
I'm sitting under my old Maple
   And, for a moment, all is well.

An interesting idea

This was an interesting idea that has prompted a 20+ minute conversation in my lab.

Approach a girl and hand her a $20 bill. Tell her, "Here's twenty bucks, if you'd like to go on a date, I'll take it back and use it to pay for the date; otherwise, keep it."


Please discuss the implications of such an action. How each side might feel about it. What the result may be. Et cetera. I'm not going to discuss where it took our conversation, but it was very interesting to talk about.

Something

I've had this problem before, and I'm not sure what to call it. I wouldn't say that I'm depressed, but perhaps it really is just a mild form of depression. I get into an emotional state where I feel like I want something to happen, but that trying to make it happen would lead to pain and anguish. Also coupled with that feeling is that at night I don't want to go to sleep. It feels like going to sleep is simply allowing more time to pass in the situation that I want to change. Or something. It's sort of like feeling that if I go to sleep, I'm letting more time slip by that I should be doing something valuable with. Not like I'm accomplishing anything by staying up later, I dunno.

This probably doesn't make any sense to someone that hasn't experienced it. I'm fairly certain I know what my problem is, but I don't think there's anything I can do about it. It's just very emotionally draining, and gives me this pit in my stomach, and twists my heart about a bit.

I should try to go to sleep now. I haven't been sleeping well, and waking up in the morning has been getting more difficult as it is darker each morning, and it was really cold this morning.

Disaster Zone and Life Update

My room is a complete disaster right now. Yesterday between work and dinner I had about an hour and a half, during which I went to my sister's to pick the last remnants of my stuff that was there. (Partially because I needed to pick up my suits, and partially because I just needed to do it.) So I got it home and basically just dumped stuff all over my room so that I could rest for 10 minutes before getting ready for dinner. Then upon returning home about midnight, I mostly just pulled the stuff off my bed and tossed it on the floor so that I could fall asleep. Maybe in the next hour or so I'll get the motivation to clean it up. Yah, I'll do that, put the doors back up, paint them white, and take some "after" pictures of my room. Ok, so maybe some of that will happen.

Anyways. I'll give a more complete account of my evening now that I'm conscious and functioning again:

A few weeks ago I signed up for the Computer Science Department Alumni Dinner. It's described as being for alumni and their families, but I figured I could RSVP for two and bring a date, since otherwise I probably wouldn't go. At the beginning of this week Krishna convinced me to buy tickets to the Big Bands Homecoming Dance, again I figured I would be able to get one of my friends to come along if all else failed. So I asked a girl if she'd like to go, she couldn't because she already had plans. So I asked another girl, same thing. And another, same thing. And another, same thing. At which point I was rather frustrated, annoyed, and becoming slightly depressed. So I made the second previous blog entry announcing my plight to my readers here on The Life of CPM blog. As all can see I did get a response from alishka babushka. She even went the whole nine yards and submitted a dating application. Ok, so honestly, the first thing I did was Facebooked her (I'm now using that as a verb, why not?), it may seem a little stalker-ish to Facebook someone, but come on, one must protect oneself from falling in with crazies, right?. Her Facebook information checked out, so I figured, "What the heck? I Might as well give this a shot."


So after picking up stuff from my sister's I got dressed in my tan suit from Banana Republic (I love that suit) with my burnt orange shirt and the chocolate brown with blue stripes tie that Poppa Funk gave me for my birthday. I even busted out the contacts, which I only wear on special occasions due to fact that they are my only remaining pair at the moment. I'm not one to boast about myself very often, but dang I looked good ;-). I went and picked up alishka at a quarter to 6. She had a fabulous red skirt with a black top, polished off with a rose in her hair. *ahem* Girl, you looked good.

Dinner went was quite good. We sat with my coworker and his family. Had Hawaiian barbecue with red juice. Watched some presentations, and the student animation "Las Pinatas". They then provided each alum with a DVD containing that short film, as well as the short film "Der Ostwind" which I saw last year at the student animation showcase, and I thought it was the best one there, and have wanted a copy of it for a while. After dinner we walked over to the HFAC and viewed the paintings on display. Then proceeded to the MOA to see the new "Cliche and Collusion" exhibit. It's an interesting look on how media affects our lives, and invades our thinking. The confusing messages that bombard us daily, the short attention spans we've developed as a society, and the suggestive marketing that pervades the media was all depicted in various ways. There are two full room video displays as part of the exhibit. One presents a journal style story of trip to a tropical island. The other was much more emotionally filled. It's a dark room with a mirror ball spinning, putting you in a romantic dance atmosphere. Then on three walls there are projectors displaying various phrases like "I've waited my whole life for this moment", "You are my love", "I'm so glad I finally found you" and the like. I think it would be the most romantic place in the world to propose to someone. So for anyone out there reading this and planning to ask that special question, it would be a great place.

After leaving the MOA we walked to the car to drop off the DVD so that I wouldn't have to hold it, or worry about it disappearing. Then we went in to the dance. alishka taught me the basic step to a couple of dances including the Triple Step and the Foxtrot. I did what I could to learn quickly, and hopefully didn't make too much of a fool of myself, as she's a real dancer. The dance was great, I really enjoyed the Big Band music (it was a full live band! like in Swing Kids!). I think the older style music made the evening feel more.... respectable. It's not the kind of music that you'll see people bumpin' and grindin' to. I dunno, something about it made the atmosphere seem more mature, which I really liked. We met up with Krishna and her date at the dance and chatted with them a little.

The whole evening was amazing. I really enjoyed myself, which I was very happy about since I was feeling pretty down about the whole thing beforehand. It was the first 'blind' date I'd ever been on, and probably the least awkward first date.


This morning I got up and rode in the Wells Fargo stagecoach in the Homecoming Parade. My roommate (Wells Fargo employee) was invited to bring some friends and ride, so we did. It was pretty fun. I never figured I'd ever be in a parade again after leaving High School with Marching Band, especially since I'd never even watched the Homecoming Parade before.

But anyways, that's my story. I'm feeling much better about life in general after the past 18 hours. Now I'm going to try to clean up my room. Oh, "Avatar: The Last Airbender" started again yesterday, so we'll watch that later this evening, so excited.

Hmm

I'm exhausted and about to fall asleep, so this will be very brief.

I had a wonderful evening with alishka babushka. I've never been on a blind date before, and that's basically what this ended up being, even if we set ourselves up. It really was an excellent night. Now, I'm going to sleep, and I think I'll sleep better tonight than I have all week.

Sometimes doing something a little crazy and out of character works out well.

:-)

Sigh

I have tickets to an Alumni dinner this evening, and tickets to a Homecoming Dance this evening. Krishna convinced me to buy tickets for the dance so that we could go as a small group. I haven't talked to her in a few days, so I don't know if she was successful in procuring a date; but I wasn't. So if anyone would like dinner and a dance this evening, shoot me an email. Or, alternately, if you would like tickets to the Big Band Semi-Formal, I'll sell them to you at half price ($10/couple rather than $20/couple). Honestly, I'm getting ready to be done with dating again for awhile. It's brought nothing but frustration, heart-ache, and emotional drainage for the last few months.

Confusion

The female mind confuses me. Greatly. I like girls. I enjoy spending time with them. I enjoy cuddling with them. But, honestly, they are a complete mystery to me for the most part. Here are a few of the even fewer things I DO know:

1. Girls like to be told they're pretty.

- Exception: I had a relationship where this was apparently the wrong answer to a question. I never did fully understand why, except she was crazy I guess.

2. Girls like flowers, especially when provided for no particular reason.

- I do know of one girl that hates surprises (I'm looking at you Lavish), and I am unsure how a surprise-hater would react to spontaneous flowers.

3. Girls like to feel safe. Often times, holding them is an effective way to achieve this phenomenon.

- Don't hold a girl unless she is comfortable with you doing so, else you may end up in some very serious physical pain. (Not from personal experience, just hypothesizing.)

4. Girls want you to talk to them, very often times about anything at all. Even if you think they will not be interested in the subject whatsoever (They might not be interested, but that isn't the point).

- I struggle with this one, but am consciously trying to be better at it. I tend to be comfortable with silence after I've gotten to know someone to a certain point. But I have been learning that this doesn't change the truth of point 4, you still have to talk about whatever. Probably for the same reason that I prefer to just listen to them talk. I like listening to their voice, so perhaps it has something to do with them just liking to hear our voice.

5. Be handy. It seems that being helpful, and being competent in various tasks are found to be attractive. Not on an I-want-you-now level, but a more subtle level that doesn't always kick in immediately. If you can fix a printer, hang a shelf, repair a toilet, change a tire, or do something similarly helpful and handyman-ish I think girls find that attractive. It has an effect and leaves an impression, but you may not see the results immediately.



I think those are pretty safe observations for the most part. Perhaps some female readers can make any clarifications or additions that are needed. I don't claim to be an expert, in fact if you go back to the top of the post you will see that I claim just the opposite, so please don't berate, instead offer corrections.

One final comment. Personally, the jury is still out on the "nice guy" issue. All of these points can throw you dangerously into the "nice guy" category. Girls will tell you that nice guys don't finish last. But a lot of my experience in life has shown that actions and words don't agree on this subject very often. I have yet to find a way to overcome this difficulty. Suggestions on the matter are welcome.

A CS678 Narrative

The system had continued processing well past the predicted length of time needed for an answer. (Apparently those pesky constants really do make a difference when analyzing time complexity of an algorithm.) So while the massive project kept on churning away, the operators waited. The program had been in place for a long time and development had hit many demoralizing setbacks. However, The results of this experiment would be monumental, and the work continued unabated.
The first set of clunky, slow, and cumbersome behemoths had to be scrapped completely. The costs had been astronomical, overshadowed only by the catastrophic failure, of which the rotting hulks were a constant, painful reminder. No useful data was collected from this initial batch except the knowledge of a few designs that didn't work. They lacked a common API and inter-unit communication was non-existent. Once these details were understood it was no real surprise that the units seemed incapable of learning anything which could be considered particularly intelligent.
The purpose of the research had been to study multi-agent interaction in an open environment governed only by very loose goals and expectations. The explicit-communication breakdown between units had, of course, made this much less interesting. The results of the implicit-communication of studying opponent actions was more of a novelty than anything of real value. Of course there were many who found this action-orientated communication to be fascinating and an entire faction of the project broke away to pursue the idea further. Their work progressed much more quickly as they needed not spend time developing a common communications interface for the various designs. Thousands of prototypes were built and the successful ones entered full-scale production. Many of the design groups did begin adding primitive communications, but these systems never progressed much beyond basic commands like, “come”, “go”, “help”, “run away” or similar, basic phrase-concepts.
After many years of development the original group produced a prototype that had a strong grasp of a complete language for interfacing. They fittingly referred to this prototype as “Adam”. Seeing that Adam appeared to fulfill the majority of requirements set forth at the beginning of the project, full-scale production of this design began. The interaction between agents started without much excitement. The units acknowledged each others' existence and set about exploring the world.
One of the loose goals built into the systems was to increase the number of “friends” they had within their environment. In order to foster these friendships the agents began sharing information with each other about their knowledge of the world so far, saving each unit time and energy (conserving energy was another goal, and the designers linked the system's power infrastructure to the sun to make this goal more meaningful).
The first deviation from the cooperative interaction came along fairly quickly. Two agents had both obtained information about an energy source. Hoping to foster friendships they raced back to the main group to share their newly acquired knowledge. One of the systems determined that if the other returned first that it would build the friendships and the one to arrive second would have nothing of value to offer the group. Considering the value of the information and of friendships the agent decided it would be more in his interest to prevent the other agent from returning at all, lose the value of that friendship, but gain the value from sharing the energy source information with the remaining agents. The first betrayal had been made, to signify the event the betraying agent was called “Cain”. Cain continued to develop self-serving attitudes that ignored the consequences inflicted upon the other agents. Learning from this behavior the other agents became less cooperative for fear that they might be the victim of another Cain.
As more and more agents were introduced into the environment there began to be competition over the provided energy sources. It was no longer possible for the agents to all share the available supplies and some began banding together to secure a single source and protect it from non-cooperating agents. This behavior grew and eventually the factions grew too large for their energy sources. Many agents were forced away and simply ran out of energy. More sources were added into the environment and to make things more interesting existing sources were moved or removed to spark interaction. The interesting result was that when a source was removed the agents cooperating for the resource usually panicked and stopped cooperating as they searched for another source. Eventually it was determined that using the entire group to take over a smaller group would be more effective and large scale “wars” began.
Agents began developing more effective means of “battling” and types of weapons were created. This type of behavior continued for long periods of time with only short intervals of cooperation when energy sources were abundant. The operators of the system began to be very curious about the behavior of the agents, and began experimenting by providing opposing groups with different capabilities. New types of resources were added forcing groups to at least try cooperating if they wanted access to each of them.
Amazingly, the groups of agents generally refused to cooperate with each other so long as they each had control of at least some of each resource and a large enough group to maintain that control. The designers and operators repeatedly tried to provide incentives for cooperation, but progress was slow and the groups generally decided they could do better by not cooperating.
A final experiment for the system was decided on. A new weapon would be given to the groups at random. This weapon would give the controlling groups the ability to wipe out other groups in a very short amount of time. The operators waited on outcome of this ultimate test. What would happen when more than one group had this capability?
It has been 62 years since the fission bomb was introduced to the world. After two devastating uses the opposing groups decided that perhaps the weapon was too powerful and agreed to not use it, but continued to threaten each other with it. The greatest experiment in multi-agent interaction is nearing the end of its needed computation time. The operators of the system Earth will soon discover how the agent design type 'Human' will end: as a cooperative collective, or in a nuclear holocaust.

iProvo + MStar = Fast Internet

So I had iProvo and MStar come and setup my fiber optic internet connection today at home. I've got things to do now that I can finally finish setting up my room, so I'll just leave it at this:

The iProvo installer arrived first in order to run the fiber line from the utility pole to the house, into the basement, and then connect the fiber termination to copper equipment. A few hours after he got started the MStar techs showed up, 3 of them. They ran a cat5 cable from the equipment in the basement up the side of the house and into my room. Both groups did an excellent job at their work (someone even knocked down the hornets' nest on the side of the fence for us) and the iProvo guy cleaned off our electrical lines of vines when he ran the fiber. I was very happy with their timeliness, service, and overall competence. If everyone gets this type of service from the two I would definitely recommend getting an iProvo fiber line through MStar. The total install took 3.5 hours, which may seem long, but remember that it involved a guy climbing up not one, but two utility poles to splice the fiber line, as well as installing equipment and running an electrical line in the basement, and a cat5 cable upstairs to my room. I was quite pleased, and I even wrote "Excellent Service" on each of their comments section on the forms I had to sign.

Progressing

The walls of the living room are painted now, we need to finish the trim sometime this week. I installed a dimmer on the 2 chandeliers that hang in the living room, as well as replaced the standard bulbs with torch bulbs and removed the hideous bulb covers. I painted the house number sign, so it is now black with bronze numbers. My roommate painted all the outlet/switch covers in the living room the same bronze color. I got an old entertainment center from my sister yesterday and half of the living room is now set up and usable. I still need to run a grounding wire from the living room for my surge protector, I'm going to try to get to that today. iProvo gets installed on Thursday and then we will get to have access to the internets. I also got an old desk from my sister and thus will finally get to finish setting up my room. I called the power company to have them come out and clean up the area where the wires connect to the house. I've been watering the grass this past week. On the side of the house the grass is dead, after just one watering session I saw a complete field of green sprouts coming up below the dead grass. I guess it doesn't take much to get the grass to grow out here, the problem is just that there isn't any water naturally.

In other, non-housing, news: I have tickets to two dinner activities this evening. The GSS BBQ and the CS Department Opening Social. Tomorrow I have tickets to the new grad student dinner, with the possibility of winning tuition just for showing up. Friday I have a stake activity with food provided. That's three days in a row that I can get dinner for free. I am definitely a grad student.

I watched Hitch last night on my laptop before I set up the living room stuff. For some reason I had been wanting to watch it for a few days now. I enjoyed it as much as possible while sitting alone in an empty house. I tried to go visit an friend who recently returned from her mission, but she wasn't home.

Electrical - Done!

Yesterday I got the electrical work finished in my room. I installed a new light fixture on the ceiling to replace the bare bulb that was there. I installed white face plates on the light switch and wall outlet. I ran a grounding wire from the outlet, around my room, out the window, down the side of the house, around the back to an electrical box and properly attached it to the ground wire there. This feat is probably very illegal in terms of home electrical wiring, but it provides me with grounded wiring in my room to help prevent my computer from being destroyed, so whatever. I also hung the two lights I bought from Ikea. My room is beginning to look awesome.

I also turned off the water that runs to the swamp cooler so that it will stop leaking all over the back door.

Today I plan to re-attach the screens in all the windows. Put the doors back on the hinges in my room, paint the doors white, put another coat of white paint on the window. Possibly hang my shelves and paintings, and get a desk if management won't provide me with one.

Tomorrow's plan is to paint the living room.

Apparently one of the roommates has decided to move out. I don't know the exact reasons.

I also heard tell of a friend of a roommate that he went into the Off-Campus Housing Office and said he was unable to find male housing, to which he was told that they knew there wasn't any available and they gave him a waiver. Provo is so screwy in it's housing laws.

A stressful start

So I moved into my new place on Saturday. That is to say, I moved all of my stuff into the living room of my new place on Saturday. Our beds didn't arrive until 8:30 that night, so arranging bedrooms was a little tricky before then. Let me give you brief description of this place:

House -- built before electricity -- therefore all wiring is retro-fitted in, meaning one outlet per bedroom (modern, grounded wiring in kitchen and bathroom in order to pass inspection) all other wiring is simple two-prong -- The north side of the roof is covered in moss and fungus -- Vines cover the South and West sides, covering 4 windows -- No dishwasher -- No washer dryer -- Kitchen is an ugly yellow-brown color -- All walls are filthy with layers of grime -- If the windows are closed it begins to smell very musty and there is probably mold growing in the walls -- A swamp cooler hangs over the back entrance, and leaks all over making the back entrance unusable.

So, it needs a lot of work. Most of Saturday, all of Monday, and all my free time Tuesday was spent working on this place. I painted my room a lovely "Summer Pecan" with "Frontier Brown" trim. I repainted the window white (it was some grey color where there was paint). I got my bookshelf in my room and all my books on it, I bought a small, blue area rug at Ikea that brings out the color of the sheets and quilt on my bed. The light was a bare bulb fixture, I bought a new covered fixture at Wal-Mart that I will install tomorrow. I bought two hanging lights from Ikea to add light to the corners. I'll be hanging the beautiful paintings I commissioned a couple years ago as well as a couple of beechwood shelves I bought at Ikea. I scrubbed down the walls in the hallway, and took the doors off the cabinets in the kitchen. I ripped the vines off the outside, and called MStar to get a fiber optic line installed for internet access.

Basically, I'm putting my heart into this place (not to mention my wallet) in order to make this place feel like a home. You will definitely be seeing before and after shots once I'm done. Oh, I'm also going to run my own grounding wire from my outlet so that I will have more stable power to connect my computer to.

Also on Monday I went to my sister's apartment at Glenwood and hung a shelf for her and put together her desk. I've been feeling very handyman-ish, but am quickly getting worn out.

Classes have started, and while I only have one a day (grad school rocks), they will still require work and energy. I'm also a TA again and once the kids start hitting that rough Computer Science theory they'll be coming in for help.

A confession

I was hanging out with some friends tonight and was privy to a confession done on behalf of all females. And I quote: "Really, we are so stupid." (In reference to girls finding ridiculous reasons to get mad at each other, and hold grudges over.)

Three words: I knew it!

Final-Freakin'-Ly

I have signed a contract for a place to live. It took 3 months of searching, and a fair bit of settling and compromising; but, come Friday, I will no longer be homeless.

Lacking conversation topics

So, I'd post another poem on here, but at the moment they're all packed away. So instead I'll just talk about the celestial events that I hope to observe this week:

Tuesday, 8/28/07: Total Lunar Eclipse:
I'll have to get up really early for this (mid-eclipse is 4:37 AM MDT), but it will be worth it. I haven't watched a total eclipse in many years now. Perhaps I'll even be able to convince a certain someone that they want to get up that early to watch too.

Saturday, 9/1/07: Alpha Aurigids Meteor Shower:
This one may or may not work out well for me. It's late (peak is 5:36 AM MDT) so if the sky starts getting too light I may not see anything much (Sunrise is 6:54 AM). I'm going to try anyways, so here's hoping. I'll probably start watching around 4-4:30 to try and see something.

Is GMail trying to send me a message?

Here's the ad I got on my GMail account this morning:




Is Google saying I should get married, or that it thinks I need a wedding dress?

Bored

Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored..... Get the idea yet?

Homeless

So, for some reason I though I had until Saturday to move out of my place. I came home from visiting family last night (Sunday) to find that I needed to be out by Monday (today). So I started rapidly packing and moving things. Luckily, I have family in the area where I can store my stuff, as I still have no place to live. I don't like being homeless, it's not a lot of fun.

Increasing Readership

In an effort to increase my readership, and provide something interesting for people to come here for, I've decided to start posting more of my random poems. I write poems when the mood strikes, the styles change from theme to theme, but most of them contain a heavy influence from Robert Frost.

Here is one I wrote on March 25, 2007 after a trip to the Krishna Temple:

            Holi
Blue skies and green fields
   Surrounding the domed temple.
People filling the space around:
   Speaking, laughing, enjoying life.
The music stops, the fire glows;
   The witch erupts in flame.
As the past is burned
   the colors fly.
Caked in red, blue, yellow, green
   we celebrate a new life.
The rays of sunset pass
   through the festival of colors.

Hmm

3 AM, I woke up, couldn't go back to sleep. So I get up and eat a couple bowls of "Coco Roos" and browse through furniture on Ikea.com. As crappy as that seems, I actually really like my life right now.

Mount Timpanogos

This past Saturday (August 11) I had the opportunity to do a midnight hike of Mt. Timpanogos. It was very long and exhausting, but quite fun, not to mention that I got to spend the 14.4 miles in the company of a certain female whom I'm interested in. I was going to write a nice descriptive entry here describing the event, but I'm not feeling very literary at the moment, so instead you'll just get some pictures. Enjoy!

Book Review: Elantris - Brandon Sanderson

I just finished reading Brandon Sanderson's first novel: Elantris. As the dust jacket says, Sanderson is teaches for BYU, but the online directory simply says "Evening Class", so I'm unsure what subject. Knowing this connection one can find small hints of Mormon doctrine throughout the book. For example, the plainly stated idea that the destruction of one man is better than the loss of an entire nation as a religious principle. That's the most obvious one, though other, more subtle, allusions are made as well.

The story line was original and enthralling, successfully drawing the reader into the world that he created. I found myself accepting the many plot twists and turns, but remain bothered by one act at the end allowing for the happy conclusion. While it seemed that all of the intricate details had been linked together appropriately there was one that didn't seem like it fit correctly to me.

Being a first printing of a first edition there were the usual high number of typos. Sadly, a few of them are so terribly located that they break your entrancement with the reading and knock you flat out into reality again.

The story line progresses at a consistent pace for almost all of the 487 pages, but the last 40 pages fly by pushing a million events into less than a tenth of the book. I think this could have been lengthened some to allow for more detail and control of the happenings. Being the climax of the novel, one reads through these 40 pages extremely quickly, and pulling it out to say 80 at least would have been almost unnoticeable, but would have allowed for a more in depth depiction of the events. The final result of Hrathen's internal struggle is hardly explained to the reader satisfactorily. The intense battle sequences occurring could easily have contained more dramatic detail and lengthening. The end just felt very rushed. It had more of the feeling of you're reading faster and faster not because your in suspense and wanting to find out what the story is building up to, but because the story just keeps going faster and faster with less and less detail.

So, in spite of those criticisms, I did enjoy the read. It's not a long read by any means, I started it Monday, and finished Thursday afternoon, while also working, going camping, running a Karaoke night, going to the tumbling gym, etc...


Elantris by Brandon Sanderson receives CPM's seal of recommendation to Fantasy readers.

Apathy anyone?

So the other day I happened to be wandering around the University Mall in Orem. I went into "Best in Music" and started thumbing through some trombone music. As I was doing so I overheard the clerks talking about a guy that had been in earlier that day. Apparently this guy came in and started picking guitars off the wall and playing Eric Clapton songs. The clerk on duty becoming suspicious asked if he was Eric Clapton to which the guy apparently chuckled and answered affirmatively, saying that he was just passing through the area and was checking out local guitar shops. Whether or not this really was Eric Clapton, I guess we'll never know.

At about this point in the conversation the fire alarms in the mall begin sounding off. I look up to see what the noise is and see that it's the fire alarms, I look around at the people in the store, no on moves. I put back the music I was looking at and beginning heading for the exit, and notice that NO ONE is reacting. In my field of view were the 4 or 5 other shoppers in "Best in Music" and a fair number of people visible in the hall. Probably 20 people in total, they all just continued on their way not even hesitating at the blaring fire alarm. After it had been going off for about 30 seconds I had reached the front of "Best in Music" and was stepping out into the hall when it stopped. I stood there dumbfounded by the fact that, as far as I could tell, I was the only person to think that leaving the mall might be a good idea when the fire alarm went off. No wonder this country is so screwed up, people don't even care about their lives enough to leave a burning building.

On a complete different note: I had a great day on Saturday, I hope to have another day as great next week.

Be Someone

Fairly often my thoughts turn to some rather unusual processes. For instance, have you ever really thought about 'time'? Can you come up with a truly satisfactory answer for "What is time?" I can't, and that bothers me sometimes. Our existence on earth as mortals is entwined with a linear time, things occur in succession from one moment to the next. If we are to understand anything from the scriptures about time, we must concede that time is not simply linear. But, if it's not simply linear, in what fashion will we then interact with time? If life will be in any similar to our current existence it seems that at least moments of time must be linearly arranged. It takes time to do things. By the time you finish reading this sentence, or word, or letter, time will have passed. The only way for existence to make any sense is if you can read this sentence in order and comprehend what it's saying based on the linear arrangement of the words; which takes time. So time must be linear, but supposedly is not simply linear. I am really curious to know how God interacts with mortal events if time is not simply linear, it must be a fascinating existence.

As my mind delves into the realm of abstract philosophy I also find myself wishing I were part of something big. I read books and immerse myself into another existence, and dream that I could be a real part of something like that. To know for sure that I'm fighting the good fight, and that my actions will recorded in history and told as stories. To be in something larger than life. To play a real role that people take notice of. To make a difference. But life isn't like that, at least not for me. Oh sure, some people will talk about how we're all playing that part in our own lives in some way; but I don't want to just be playing the part of CPM in CPM's boring life. I want to set out on an adventure that will become my life for a long period of time. To go places and do things that no one else does. I guess I just feel like the world has become too small for my desires of adventure. When you can get anywhere in the world in 24 hours, it just doesn't seem like a real adventure. And, of course, I have no goal to reach at the end of any journey I may take.

I dunno, I just want to be part of something meaningful, to be someone.

Meat

The following conversation took place between CPM and his roommate Poppa Funk this evening:

CPM: Hey, Poppa Funk, have a good nap.
PF: Yah, I've been asleep for like 3 hours.
CPM: Wow. So, Guess what I had for lunch today. It was a type of animal meat.
PF: Did the animal have four legs?
CPM: No.
PF: hmm... ostrich?
CPM: HOW DID YOU GUESS THAT!
PF: You had ostrich? Where?
CPM: Yeah, I had an ostrich sandwich at Cabela's. And I've got half an elk sandwich in the fridge.
PF: That's awesome.

---

Poppa Funk and I have possibly been living together for too long, we can basically read each others' minds; it's a little scary sometimes.

---
I'm also still lacking in a place to live come end of August, so if anyone knows of somewhere outside the BYU bubble with a private room for under $325, let me know.

---
Work on Board 5.0 has officially started, and boy is everyone in for a treat when it gets finished.

New Phone: LG VX5300

My first (gut) impressions of my new LG VX5300 phone:

- Wow, LG is still just ripping off Samsung designs
- Amazing, they've managed to make phones BIGGER in the last two years
- This phone feels like it will shatter into a million pieces if I drop it on cement


Now, for my more lengthy review:

The last time I got a new phone was 2 years ago when my family signed up with Verizon Wireless on a family plan. The model that Verizon was giving out to everybody and their dog at that point was the Samsung SCH-A670. I'm sure you've seen them. It seems like everyone I knew had one at the time, from my friends in Connecticut to my roommates in Utah, they were everywhere. I've been a long time fan of the clam-shell type design, and the Samsung did not disappoint. It is fairly small with a color screen on the inside and outside. The outside screen displays caller ID information, (text or picture, your choice). I set it so that opening the phone picked up a call. The only likely to be useful feature that was not present was speaker phone.

Now, just so we all know where I am coming from: I am sick of everyone trying to make their phone do everything for them. I own a camera, I don't want my phone to be a crappy camera. I own an iPod, I don't want my phone to be a crappy music player. I want my phone to be a good phone. If it's not good at being a phone it shouldn't exist. Unfortunately, trying to find reviews is rather difficult if you actually want your phone to make calls. Apparently everyone else in the world wants their phone to watch tv, listen to the radio, browse the internet, play music, and take pictures-- make calls? I guess that might be useful. So, this quick review will focus on the PHONE qualities of this PHONE.

My Samsung SCH-A670 have been through a lot in the last 2 years. I've dropped it a number of times on hard (cement) surfaces. It lived (completely exposed and turned on) through the storm that killed my previous camera in Ohio. It's been up mountains, and through canyons, it's done it all and has never disappointed me. The design is nothing special, but it works. The material feels sturdy and stands up to a beating. I realize this next part may be the network, but the phone plays a part too: I often maintain service when all my friends are out of luck. So I have high expectations of this new phone.

Sadly, the LG VX5300 is larger than my Samsung. Why they ended up with a larger phone after 2 years of development, I don't know. It is slightly taller and wider, but a hair slimmer. As usual for LG it is a complete rip off of Samsung styling. In my 6+ years of cell phone usage I have yet to see an LG design that appears to be original. I guess they have the Chocolate phone now, but I can hardly bring myself to count that since it hardly focuses on being a phone, and mostly just annoys me in how obnoxious I think it would be to use as a phone.

The material used in the casing of the phone feels cheap and feels like it would be easily broken. The exterior screen functions for caller ID (text only, no picture for some reason). Picture ID shows up in the interior screen. There appears to be no option to make the phone pick up a call upon opening, instead you have to open it and then press a button (really obnoxious in my opinion).

The arrangement of the buttons makes it difficult to dial without looking directly at them-- they are separated by column, but not by row, so sliding from 1 to 4 to 7 can be hard to detect. Also, the buttons are not back lit like my Samsung meaning that dialing in the dark will be a complete pain in the butt. The green "Send" and red "End" buttons are ridiculously over-sized, and I'm beginning to get the feeling that this phone was designed for the finger-dexterity challenged population - a group that is sadly becoming the majority in America.

The headphone jack is exposed, so expect it to get gunked up over time; but I guess they're counting on you buying a more expensive bluetooth headset rather than use such antiquated means as a wired headset. For some reason it has a dedicated voice-memo button on the outside, which I guess is good if you're into that kind of thing, but I've only ever met one person that was. Below the voice-memo button is a little lightning bolt power symbol for unknown reasons, it's not near the bottom of the phone where you plug in the charger; I guess it just looks cool or something. The antenna is the external nub antenna, but does not extend at all.

Overall, I'm not very impressed, and I haven't even used it yet. A large part of me wants to wait and continue using my Samsung until it dies, or the battery life becomes intolerable. Why American consumers keep putting up with such crappy, piss-poor designs is beyond me. Who knows, maybe once I use it a few times I'll like it more, but I think for now I'm going to hang onto my Samsung.

Boredom

I work from home these days. I get incredibly bored. The most exciting part of my day, often times, is when I walk around the corner of the building to get the mail. Oddly, I find myself craving human interaction, but also have lost the motivation to date. I guess I've reached one of those points in life, again, where it just doesn't seem like it's worth it.

I'm starting to get used to the idea that I will live alone. I'll get my Master's degree in a couple years, find a job, buy a house, and live by myself -- potentially with a cat. This is not to say that I want to live alone. For the longest time I pictured my future involving at least a wife, and at some point a family. It was difficult to see myself living alone. Sadly, the visions have switched places now. I can much more easily see myself living by myself than having a family. I do have a fair bit of artwork to keep me company-- and my books.

Speaking of books: I've finished "Atlas Shrugged" over the weekend. While it does contain some nice arguments about various subjects, the overall theme seemed to be that purely socialistic policies will destroy a nation. Personally, I can't say it's one of the greatest works I've ever read, but it was pretty good. I also started and finished "The Philosopher at the End of the Universe" which is a foray into various philosophical ideologies as presented in modern science fiction movies. It was a fun read, lots of personality in the writing. Now I'm about half way through "Nickel and Dimed" which discusses the despicable conditions of the wage-slave class in the United States. Oddly, the author, Barbara Ehrenreich, has a Ph.D. in Biology, but writes for a living.

Those are all the random thoughts I have for the moment. Hope you enjoyed them.

Oh, and I still don't have anywhere to live come fall. I was supposed to go view a condo today, and 30 minutes before the appointment the management company called to cancel because they had just signed someone else. Thanks.

Overheard in New York

So I've been reading through the quotes on http://www.overheardinnewyork.com. Now, I will not take responsibility for the language used in those quotes, so browse are your own risk. However, my current favorite is this:

Thug: So, if I'm half black and half American Indian, that makes me Puerto Rico.
Thugette: I told you that you was Puerto Rican.

pɹɐʍʞɔɐq puɐ uʍop ǝpısdn

.sʎɐp ǝsǝɥʇ s1ǝǝɟ ǝɟı1 ʎɯ ʍoɥ ʇnoqɐ sı sıɥʇ

But I'll still try to be nice, you can write upside-down and backwards too: http://www.revfad.com/flip.html

Las Vegas

I went to Las Vegas over the weekend. I don't really feel like saying too much about it, so I'll put up some pictures ans comment on them a little.

Here's a pretty landscape I took the second evening we were there:


On Saturday we went to Tournament of Kings at Excalibur:

It was a lot of fun. You get dinner, which you have to eat with your hands, and they have knights jousting and fighting and stuff. The meal started with a bowl of dragon blood soup, also known as tomato soup with cheddar cheese melted in. Then they bring you out a platter containing broccoli, steak fries, a roll, and a game hen. Dessert was some type of pastry that was alright. And you're drinking Pepsi this entire time. We were seated in Spain, but sadly our King didn't win, and was killed, twice. I don't have any pictures of the action, because they are strictly forbidden, but I managed to snag a shot or two of the food, but they didn't turn out very well, since I didn't use a flash.


This picture I took specifically for Lavish because of a conversation we had the other day. But, sorry Lavish, I didn't buy you anything.


After the show we trekked over to the Bellagio and visited the atrium that they always have decorated. This time it's decorated with a Route 66 theme. Here are the little jumping water fountains which we always enjoy.


They also had some amazing rose arrangements.


Then we headed outside to the big Bellagio fountains, which are still my favorite attraction in Vegas. I really tried to remove the "Bally's" building from the picture with GIMP, but, alas, my photo editing skills seem to be lacking.


On the way home we stopped by the Las Vegas Temple. I took some really nice pictures of the front, but my camera apparently didn't like them, because there's a 4 picture gap on my camera. Very strange.


And, of course, we did some shopping while down there, but I don't have any pictures from it. I got a sweet jacket from Express, and a shirt from Banana Republic because they had some 50+ % off sales going on.

Why?

So, over the years I have had a number friends who are girls, as well as a few girlfriends. In my recollection I think that at some point in conversations with these girls many of them have said something along the lines of "Curious Physics Minor, why are you so nice to me?" And I think to myself what a sad statement that really is. I don't think that I'm overly nice, I'm just me. But I'm learning that I must be wrong in my hope that most guys are nice to girls, because, apparently, that isn't the case. Which makes me sad. Why aren't people nicer to each other, and more specifically, why aren't guys nicer to girls? Why do girls put up with guys that aren't nice to them?

I remember a friend I had in high school. She was in a bad relationship for something like 2 years before a small group of us that cared convinced her that the guy was a bastard (pardon my French). He insulted her, blamed her for his problems, pretty much just treated her like crap; but she'd always say things like, "He's not so bad", "He apologizes afterwards", "He's nice sometimes". We'd just shake our heads and feel sad for her. She finally got out of the relationship, and has since hopped from bad relationship to bad relationship. She tells me she's in a good relationship now, which I really hope is true because she's a great girl.

So.

Guys, shape up and be nice to girls.

Girls, don't put up with jerks. Kick them out on the street and don't let them come back.

Adventuring

I spent Thursday through Saturday in a bit of a depressed funk. But it's passed for the moment, and I think I'll be good through my coming escape to Las Vegas. I watched "Howl's Moving Castle" in the JFSB courtyard on Friday evening, it was actually quite good; the free ice cream novelties was a nice bonus to the free movie.

Lavish and I have decided to complete the Utah Valley Adventure Passport thingies that came in the mail a couple weeks ago. Yesterday we loaded up a car and drove the Alpine Loop from Provo Canyon to American Fork Canyon, stopping at Cascade Springs along the way. It was quite nice; clean, cool air; relaxing; beautiful views (I wanted to use the word vistas, but Microsoft has forever tainted it).

As soon as I get the pictures from her I'll put some up here; but they'll probably show up on her blog first.

Philosophy from Atlas Shrugged

I've bee reading Atlas Shrugged, it having been recommended to me a number of times. It's a long book, 1168 pages, and takes a little while to get going, but I'm quite enjoying it now (pg 533). I've come across two monologues that I really liked. One was by the character Francisco D'Anconia, and it pertained to the true nature of money and how hard money (meaning things that were valued in and of themselves: gold, silver, etc) was a mark of a prosperous civilization. Without hard money a nation will never progress at a rate rapid enough to amount to anything. Our current system is based on fiat money, it has value simply because the government says it has value. While this is better than a barter system, it is still much more volatile than a hard money system. Fiat money systems can be controlled and manipulated by persons in power, simply by decreeing a change in the system. Anyways, I don't remember the whole monologue, but it was quite impressive, and didn't use the strict terminology I've employed here.

The second monologue I found just as interesting though, and provided a new look into the human mind. It begins on page 489 in my book, in the chapter entitled "The Sanction of the Victim"; it is also given by Francisco D'Anconia.

" ... The men who think that wealth comes from material resources and has no intellectual root or meaning, are the men who think-- for the same reason-- that sex is a physical capacity which functions independently of one's mind, choice or code of values. They think that your body creates a desire and makes a choice for you-- just about in some such way as if iron ore transformed itself into railroad rails of its own volition. Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a man's sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions. Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself. No matter what corruption he's taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which he cannot perform for any motive but is own enjoyment-- just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity!-- an act which is not possible in self-abasement, only in self-exaltation, only in the confidence of being desired, and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces him to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and to accept his real ego as his standard of value. He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience-- or to fake-- a sense of self-esteem.

.....

Let a man corrupt his values and his view of existence, let him profess that love is not self-enjoyment but self-denial, that virtue consists, not of pride, but of pity or pain or weakness or sacrifice, that the noblest love is born, not of admiration, but of charity, not in response to values, but in response to flaws-- and he will have to cut himself in two. His body will not obey him, it will not respond, it will make him impotent toward the woman he professes to love and draw him to the lowest type of whore he can find.... He has damned himself and he will feel that depravity is all he is worthy of enjoying. He has equated virtue with pain and he will feel that vice is the only realm of pleasure. Then he will scream that his body has vicious desires of its own which his mind cannot conquer, that sex is sin, that true love is a pure emotion of the spirit. And then he will wonder why love brings him nothing but boredom, and sex-- nothing but shame."

Just some things to think about.

Short Circuit 2

My apartment watched Short Circuit 2 last night. As I was watching it, I became really excited about a book I bought last semester but haven't had a chance to read yet. It's something about Philosophy as explained by Science Fiction Movies. I need to get through the final 3/5 of Atlas Shrugged so that I can read that book. The main human character of the movie is, of course, a complete geek who happens to have feelings for the main female lead. He enters into a conversation with Johnny 5 about human relationships and how complicated they are. For some reason I found it really interesting when he explained something about how there are 6 billion of us on this planet but even getting just two together in a meaningful way seems so impossible at times. Then Johnny 5 tried to express his feelings of loneliness and depression, and relate them to the many things he had read in the books; part of me wishes I didn't know quite so well what he meant.

Anywho, I'm hoping that I'll find something fun to do this weekend; or at least get a bunch of reading done.